


The Love of a Brother

by NeoFruity (orphan_account)



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Foster Care, M/M, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Oh, Physical Abuse, Racist Language, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sibling Incest, Slurs, Wow, also, and then he finds out about tadashi, and to complete the onholy trinity, bleh shitty legal system, bot fights n shit, but here i am, cass is a foster parent and unrelated to them, has a bit of a record, he gets into fights n stuff, hiro and tadashi are fraternal twins, hiro finds out about tadashi through social services, hiro is what they call "a troubled kid", i promised i wasn't gonna put non con elements in the story, manipulative parents, separated after the death of their parents, yeah - Freeform, your welcome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-04-02 20:56:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4073626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/NeoFruity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was a child of extreme brilliance, a prodigy, one might say. But, he was also troubled. He'd been passed along from home to home, branded a troubled child with aggression and anxiety issues. He might have been lost forever.</p><p>If it weren't for his lost brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> so the last thing i wanna do is portray the foster care system inaccurately, so if i do so, that is not my intention
> 
> im sorry this might be a roller coaster
> 
> thanks to @hidashihaven for beta-ing in this, glad you're back bby!

"Hiro, you can't keep doing this. There's not much else I can do for you at this point."

Hiro stared pointedly at the blinds behind his case manager’s desk. The afternoon sun streamed through the white seams and cast light into the cold room of the Social Services offices. Hiro was slouching in his seat and scowling past the social worker, he didn't dare look her in the eyes.

This was the fifth time he'd been removed from a foster home, the previous home was unable to handle him. He was a child of extreme brilliance, a prodigy, one might say.

But, he was also troubled.

He'd grown up since his parents death without a proper family, and thus developed several issues and problems along the way.

"Eleven fights, Hiro, this is unacceptable. If you can’t behave yourself, I'm going to have to place you in an institution." The blonde haired woman in front of him shuffled through some paperwork, eventually pulling up a summary of Hiro's behavior for the past six months. "It says here you are also frequently tardy to class or fail to show up entirely. You're lucky they even let you pass."

Hiro threw his head back and groaned loudly. "I'm already four years ahead, what's the big deal? You want me to show up to class so people can tell me things I already know?"

In all honesty, public school was stupid to him. He didn't fit in, his peers resented him, and he really didn't think he need a piece of paper that said he'd passed the worst four years of his life and was capable of going to college. He could make a living of of bot fighting - so long as he didn't get caught... Again.

As though his case manager had read his thoughts, she addressed him once more. "They had to pick you up from holding at the police station, because they picked you up bot fighting. Honestly, Hiro, what do you want? What can I do for you so you'll stop all this? I'm very concerned for you right now." She took off her red half moon glasses and rubbed her temples with her lacquered maroon nails. Hiro shrugged and stared at the blinds some more; the golden light giving him a headache as he stared harder.

Several moments of awkward silence passed before the social worker sighed, and scooted back from her desk. "I don't know what families we have in the area that are available but I'll go see what we have. Wait here, please." She stood up and walked around the desk, squeezing Hiro's shoulder as she walked past.

Really, she did care. The problem was Hiro didn't. He'd been passed along from home to home, branded a troubled child with aggression and anxiety issues.

He couldn't find it in him to care.

Hiro sighed loudly into the empty room. It was almost as dark as it was cold, it smelled slightly musty, being an old wooden office. The dark green drapes on the wall only added to the gloom of the room, despite being tied back with golden cords and allowing sunlight in. His arms and legs were almost numb from how cold it was.

The boy scanned the social workers desk, fiddling with his ear bud in his right hand. A glossy photo paper-clipped neatly to stack of paperwork caught his eye, and he ventured closer.

The white border housed a portrait of a young man, probably no older than Hiro himself. His features were strikingly Japanese; his large amber eyes and ivory skin displaying his heritage proudly. He had square jaw and chiseled neck and shoulders that gracefully extended out of view beyond the white border. His features were soft, and he was smiling, although one could see his smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

He looked... extremely familiar to Hiro. The image burned a thousand holes in his mind as he tried to remember where he'd seen that face before. It wasn't someone he'd just seen random in the street or something, he'd definitely met this person before. But where, he didn't know.

He reached out with a cautious hand and shifted the paperwork sitting on top of the rest of the documents and shifted it over a little ways, just so he could read the name. His heart raced when he saw the surname scrawled in neat blue ink, but he didn't have time to react.

The faint clicking of the social workers heels resounded against the hallway, alerting him of the oncoming danger. He quickly shifted the paperwork back in place and resumed his fiddling with his earbud like he hadn't moved at all.

"We have..." she paused glancing at the paper she brought back with her. "One person in the San Fransokyo area that would be available by tomorrow. She's a single woman, she lives by herself and runs a bakery during the morning to afternoon hours of the day. Do you think that will be alright? It's not a whole family you have to deal with adjusting to, but you might be able to connect with her better, I think. She's a very sweet woman, I've spoken with her before." She eyed Hiro with her icy blue eyes, looking for some sort of understanding that he wouldn't mess this one up. "We can't tolerate anymore juvenile behavior on your part, Hiro. Am I clear?"

He looked her straight in the eyes with a blank face. "Crystal."

"Excellent. I'll let her know we have someone going to stay with her. For tonight, I'll place you in an emergency home. I think you've stayed with them before, if I'm not mistaken." She filled out a couple of things before filing some paperwork in a cabinet and pulling out some other sheets. "Hiro, please promise me you won't get into anymore trouble."

She looked at the forlorn teen sitting before her. He was wearing a faded t-shirt, jeans and an old blue jacket he'd refused to part with for the past three years. He was staring absentmindedly out the window, the gears and cogs in his brain ever turning and working.

A quiet "Alright" passed from his lips. He looked down at his earbud and fiddled with it some more, pulling and the fraying rubber edges of the bud. He could stay out of trouble for a while, now that he had something else to do in the mean time.

"Okay then, let me take care of this paperwork and then I'll drop you off at the emergency home." She smiled softly before getting up once more. Hiro watched her move about the office, gathering this, that, and the other before grabbing her coat and motioning for Hiro to follow.

The teen slowly got up and followed the social worker out the door. He was thankful he didn't have to stay in the office any longer. It was just another cold office in a cold building run by a cold government by cold people with cold eyes and cold stares. He'd never liked the social services department, and now he hated it even more.

He'd lost just about everything at the age of four when his parents were consumed by the flames that overtook their home. And now, he knew everything had truly been taken from him.

Cruel was the system he'd been tossed into at so young an age, and it separated him from the only thing could have truly mattered in his life.

He had a brother.

And he couldn't remember him at all. All he could feel was a warm glowing feeling when he saw that face in the photograph. He ran his lost siblings name through his head, _Tadashi Hamada, Tadashi Hamada, Tadashi Hamada,_ over and over again. He'd be damned if forgot his brother's name again.

He couldn't help but feel he'd been robbed of so much; he had no memories - _nothing_. He didn't even know where to start looking if he were to find him. He set in his heart that he was going to find Tadashi, whether Tadashi wanted to be found or not, because he had know, he had to _see_ him.

Even if it meant rejection. It wasn't the worst feeling in the world, and it was certainly something he was familiar with.

The city passed by in a blur as Hiro stared out the car window. The thing that stuck out to him the most were the families, and they seemed to be everywhere. Brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, everywhere he looked there was another family. It only made him scowl further, and he buried his face in his hood. He just wanted to go back home.

But he already knew he never had, and could never get, a home.

\---

Hiro sat on the bed of his temporary room and pulled his laptop out of his backpack. He made absolutely sure no one was coming, and had locked the door for good measure. He tapped the plastic next to the mouse pad, impatiently waiting for it to boot up so he could begin his search for Tadashi.

During a rather awkward dinner with the family that had taken him in for the night, he had formulated a plan of how he was going to search and find Tadashi.

The city was fairly large in size, and a good percentage of the city was of Japanese or mixed races, and he had to limit his searches so he wasn't looking for every Tadashi Hamada that existed in the city. The city was divided into districts, and within its districts, there were social services offices sprinkled about. Tokyo Heights, was the district he was located in, and if Tadashi was on file in the Tokyo Heights that meant the case manager in charge of him was also in charge of Tadashi. That limited the search to 36,462 people. The city of San Fransokyo was roughly 32% Asian American, and of those people about 2.3% were Japanese. That limited the search to about 282 people. Tadashi was near in age to hiro, and most likely wouldn't be much older (or younger, maybe) than himself if he was still under the jurisdiction of social services. That brought his search down to about 46 people total, and THAT was something he could handle.

He smiled as he hacked into the local wifi network. Finding his brother was going to be a cinch. It took him a little less than five minutes to gain the addresses of anyone in the surrounding district with the last name Hamada, which ended up being about twelve.

He thought to when he might actually find his brother, and how he would even go about introducing himself. There wasn't exactly a way to walk up to someone and say "Hey, I'm your long lost brother, we were separated after our parents death and I had no idea you existed until a few days ago."

Hiro's pace quickened as he thought about the number of possibilities that could happen. What if he didn't like Hiro? What if Hiro didn't like him? What if his brother turned out to be a total asshole or what if he didn't have any room for Hiro in his life? A number of negative outcomes quickly flashed through his mind; tears were brought to his eyes as he thought about all the things that could go wrong.

He stayed up late into night, thinking about his brother. He knew trying to connect with him was not going to be all sunshine and roses, it was more likely to be a path of thorns and burrs.

But he had to keep walking.

 

He had to keep going.

 

For him.

 

For Tadashi.


	2. Out With The Old, In With The New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts with Hiro's life at school. Unfortunately some things get worse before they get better. He meets Cass and gets to see his new home before going to look for his Brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry for this chapter because it starts out really bad (I'm so sorry Hiro)  
> It is... Kind of graphic.  
> There several Racial and Derogatory Slurs used by some students in the story. At the end of the chapter I will explain what some of them mean because they are a bit confusing. The F-word is thrown around quite a bit too (I'm not talking about the word fuck either).  
> Again, I'm sorry.

Hiro wanted to bash his head through the desk, he really did. Two periods into the school day and he couldn’t take it any longer. The teachers droning on and on about subjects he already knew about to a class full of students who didn’t care… He needed a cigarette or his vape stick or _something_ to calm him down. Maybe a nice couple rounds of bot fighting... Yeah, that could be good. He needed to back up on cash anyway.

 _Just endure it for a few more days, and then you can switch schools, I promise it will get better._ Those were the parting words between him and his case manager that morning after she driven him to school. Of course, he only rolled his eyes and dismissed her with a "Yeah, whatever..." and walked away.

He tried discreetly slide his earbud in for the third time (the teacher having yelled at him twice already) and promptly laid his head on the desk. He traced the names and numbers haphazardly carved into the desk with the tip of his finger. A glance at the clock told him it’d only been a couple of minutes.

Time dragged on so slowly.

He was mentally correcting the teacher who said something about a limit always existing for whatever _stupid_ reason, when he felt something hit the back of his neck. His fingers recoiled at cold feeling of damp paper and saliva on the back of his neck. _Disgusting_ , he thought, quickly wiping it off and flinging it away.

He turned to glare at the students behind him; they were giggling in unison at the prank that was oh-so funny. One of the bigger built boys, one with buzz cut blonde hair and brown eyes, contorted his face into a mock pout. Hiro promptly flipped him off before turning back to the front.

Honestly he didn’t have the time for these assholes. They were nearly four years older than him, and some how managed to get dumber, much to Hiro’s grief.

Two more spit balls hit the back of his neck, effectively making him jump in his seat, coming back down with a thud. The teacher spared him an accusatory glare before shaking his head and returning to his algebra lesson.

He whipped his head around to look at his tormentors. They were laughing harder now. Another tall boy, this one with brown hair and blue eyes, shook his head and pointed at Hiro. He then tapped his wrist and then pointed at the clock, finally bringing his finger up and making throat-slitting motion. Hiro just closed his eyes and sighed deeply. He turned back to the front, covering his neck with his hood.

 _That means you’re getting fucked up later. Remember that for next time, squint eyes._ Hiro clenched eyes shut and cursed his luck. He’d promised the social worker no more fighting. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to keep that promise, but he really wanted to. He hated fighting.

Fights were typically one sided, and he was the helpless little defense. No power, no muscle, no advantage. When they were out in the open, Hiro typically received the blame, but as per usual, he was only trying to defend himself.

He looked at the clock once more.

Only thirteen minutes had passed.

\---

The bell rang and Hiro was out of his seat like a rocket, running out the door and around several hallways hoping lose the gang of kids who sought to do him wrong.

He found an empty computer lab and tried to get the door open. After jiggling the doorknob enough, the lock popped loose and Hiro ran inside, the sound of sneakers on linoleum getting louder as they neared the lab.

Hiro crawled behind the teacher’s desk and watched with wide eyes through a crack as they walked around looking for him. The door to the lab creaked open and four tall, well built boys entered the room, all from his previous class.

"Little Hiroshima, we know you're in here... Come out and play with us..." The blonde one spoke. Hiro cringed at the slur, it was honestly stupid and unoriginal in his opinion, he could think of way worse.

He held his breath and clenched his eyes shut, hoping the footsteps nearing him wouldn't come around the desk. A loud slam that sounded suspiciously like a keyboard being dropped caused him to jump, hitting the side of the desk with his elbow.

"There you are..." Footsteps hurried around the desk and a huge hand reached under and grabbed him by his hair, yanking him out into the open with a yelp.

Hiro rubbed his head and looked up, the boys from his class. If he remembered correctly, their names were Damian, Adam, Jordan, and Bri. Of course, Hiro always thought of them as Ugly 1, 2, 3, and 4.

"Little Hiroshima, it's been a while. Haven't bothered to show up to class for a while have you? You've been a bad boy, we need to teach you some manners." Damian, the blonde haired blued eyed boy spoke. He had an awful way of talking, made you really want to curl up into a ball and die from shame, Hiro thought. He picked him up by his hair again and forced him to his feet.

"Let’s go somewhere a little more private." Jordan, a brown haired brown eyed boy snickered in the corner. 'Private' usually meant the boys’ locker room, it was uncommon for anyone to be in there this early in the day. Perfect place for a martyr.

Hiro struggled to get away and ended up with a kick in the shins for his effort. They led him around the corner and into the locker room, crushing the hell out of his upper arm. One remained behind to stand as lookout.

"Alright, coinslot, let’s review the basic rules of attendance, shall we?" Jordan made a slap to his face, knocking him sideways into a set of lockers. Hiro seethed at the sting in his face. He turned and attempted to punch Jordan back, but Jordan merely stepped aside and kneed him in the gut. Hiro fell to the ground with a groan and was promptly shoved forward on his face. Someone held him down while another used his own jacket to subdue his arms behind him.

Hiro struggled and wiggled under the weight of the people above him. "Let me go!!" He shouted, hoping maybe a teacher would hear. His head was yanked up and he was punched in the throat, causing him to cough and sputter.

"The little yellow faggot's forgot his place, what a shame." Hiro felt himself being hoisted up and held in place as Damian took the place in front of him.

"Rule number one:," he punched Hiro in the gut, causing him to groan again, "Students are expected to be on time and present for each period everyday." Hiro eyed him warily from where his head hung. He was wearing a cruel smile as he surveyed him for his next blow.

"Rule number two:," there was a punch to Hiro's face, and then a knee in his stomach. "Students who are unable to show for class must provide a doctor’s note when they return, or may leave for religious circumstances, family crisis, and family deaths."

Hiro was coughing quite a bit now, his nose was bleeding and just about everything hurt.

Damian moved to pick Hiro's face up and whisper in his ear. "We all know you've got no family, so that’s no excuse." He looked Hiro's face, satisfied with his crestfallen appearance. Hiro, however, was merely feigning appearances. Damian reared backwards, fuming at Hiro's choice of action. He had spat in his face and smirked.

"Fuck you." His voice was gravelly and raw; he was abruptly cut off by several more kicks to his gut. Hiro whimpered hoarsely, he wasn't able to focus on much else besides _how much he fucking hurt everywhere._

"Rule number three:," Damian growled at Hiro but made no more moves to abuse him. "Students who are caught on campus for truancy will receive detention." He paused looking Hiro up and down before smirking evilly.

"Hey, guys, wanna hear a joke? The size of Hiro's tiny dick." He followed up with a kick to Hiro's crotch, and Hiro fucking _cried_ because, god, it _hurt so fucking bad_. He didn't feel himself being dropped to the floor. He didn't hear the boys laughing at him. All he could feel was the pain that seized his body in a firey grip.

"I think the little faggot's had enough for one day, don't you guys think?" It was Jordan who spoke up, his voice wavered slightly.

"You guys go ahead, there's a few more things I think Hiro needs to learn today." It was Damian who spoke up, and Hiro knew something bad was coming because they usually all left after beating the crap out him. It was never one on one, always him against four or more. He looked up at Damian and the absolute fear in his eyes made Damian to smirk.

A moment passed, and they were alone.

"So, you like spitting, do you? I'll give you something to spit on." He advanced on Hiro, forcing him onto his knees.

Hiro heard a zipper, and barely had time to scream, "No!" before he was assaulted.

He was utterly humiliated by the _thing_ that was shoved in his mouth, causing him to gag and cough over and over. Saliva was falling from his mouth, just as the tears were streaming from his eyes, which were clenched shut so he didn't have to see the reality before him.

Eventually, it was all over. He was deposited on the floor once more, his face covered in that _sticky_ white substance. He didn't look up, he stared at the shoes in front of him.

"You're a filthy bukkake loving jap, you know that? A disgusting, _yellow fag_ , and that’s all you'll ever be." He spat in front of him and turned and left Hiro alone on the floor, exiting the locker room with quick steps.

Hiro eventually struggled to remove his jacket, pulling the confines off and unknotting it. He cleaned his face of the blood and filth they'd covered it in, until just his face stared back at him.

If there was one thing he hated, it was appearances and how well they hid things. He appeared to be an average depressed teenager on the outside, but on the inside, he was rotting. He was filled with the filth and lies that everyone poured into him and, sometimes, it was just too much.

Tears began to flow freely from his eyes and he let himself cry gladly, he really didn’t mind crying. It felt good to him, a lot of the negative feelings were washed out with the tears. He was alone anyhow, there wasn’t any reason to hide.

He basked in the hollow feeling that followed, he'd cried himself out and was sitting on the floor against some lockers.

The bell had rung about four times since then, Hiro got up and steadily made his way to shop class, it was the only class he sort of enjoyed. He could stay there for hours, too. His teacher would email the librarian, excusing him from his online classes that took up the remainder of his periods, and allow him to tinker with whatever caught his fancy. Sometimes, he worked on the engines in class. Sometimes, he worked on his own personal projects. He really didn't care, as long as no one bothered him.

Hiro suspected his teacher knew he had a difficult time in school, and was simply giving him a place to actually concentrate and work for the time being. He knew Hiro was advanced far beyond his years, the boy had even taught him several things in the past. Rather than embarrassing Hiro for it, he urged him on and frequently had the young teen show him things that he hadn't even picked up in college. He liked the way the boy’s eyes lit up when he was explaining a different way to do things that would work twice as well. Hiro was a natural problem solver, and his teacher wanted him to embrace it.

"Hiro, what are you working on today?" Hiro was sitting at a soldering station, carefully putting together some boards his teacher had ordered for him.

"Just finishing up this chip right now, I guess..." He was quieter than usually, and he looked extremely tired. "It's almost finished so... You know... If you wanna take a look at it, you can..." He simply shrugged and returned to his work. The smell of solder hitting the hot iron tickled his nose while he worked, he liked it somewhat.

Several students had come in by that point and none of them bothered him. They never did; they were usually jealous, too shy, or just simply didn't care. It didn't bother Hiro anyhow.

He allowed himself to zone out, thinking about after school, and after going to the new foster home, he'd finally be able to start looking for Tadashi.

He could only hope Tadashi was just like him.

\---

Hiro sighed and dug his earbud further into his ear, grating the mesh of the bud against his already irritated ear canal. His case manager and this “Cass” lady had been talking for what seemed like hours. They weren't even talking about anything _relevant_ , they were just jabbering on about boring lady stuff.

He was sitting at a table in the lady's cafe, which she'd kept closed for the day. It smelled like fresh baked goods and coffee. It was called the _Lucky Cat Cafe_ , and it was small but very quaint, Hiro had to admit. There were coffee machines behind the counter, loads of donuts and pastries behind the glass pastry counters, several baskets of pre-packed sweets and buns, a shelf with lots of fresh baked breads, and a small cooler shelf that housed loads of sodas, juices, smoothies and waters. It was like a Starbucks with ten times the variety that most coffee shops had. There were pastries from loads of different countries, it was almost like the cafe was a smaller representation of San Fransokyo itself.

And he found himself liking it. It was comfortable and open, housing a friendly atmosphere where people could laugh and chatter and be themselves.

But he was still bored, he hadn't even _seen_ the rest of the house, which disappeared upstairs to the tenement above the shop. The house would tell him everything he needed to know about his new foster parent, but he suspected that this lady, like the rest, was harmless. Maybe even a bit too harmless.

"Oh my, I've let time get away from here." The case manager glanced at her wristwatch, and then stood to gather her things. "Okay, Hiro, you know the drill, this is just a trial period. If you feel uncomfortable for any reason, you just call and let me know, okay?" She looked at Hiro expectantly and raised her eyebrows as if to say, 'Don't you dare cause trouble'.

"Okay, fine." He rolled his eyes and looked out the window. Same spiel as always.

"You both have my number in case you need anything, don't hesitate to call." She came around to give Hiro a small hug. "Be good, okay?"

Hiro hummed in response and watch her shuffle out the door, apologizing for the short notice and what not. Then, it was just him and Cass. He felt extremely uncomfortable now, what if she tried to do anything like the one kid did earlier that morning? A better part of him told him it was unlikely, but he remained cautious. He stared at her for a good minute or two, and finally decided she was harmless after all.

"So.... Miss Cass, was it...?" He ventured cautiously.

"Oh, Cass is fine dear. Or Aunt Cass if that makes you more comfortable." She smiled pleasantly at Hiro, it was genuine. He could feel the warmth radiating from her cheeks.

"Okay... Aunt Cass, then... Nice place you got here." He looked around as he hadn't already checked the place out. Right now, he was specifically testing her, judging her by her responses.

"Well, I suppose. It's quite the hassle to run sometimes. Do you wanna see the rest of the house?" She waited for Hiro's response, her hands clasped in front of her.

"Sure, I guess." Hiro got up from his seat, taking his bag and his backpack with him and followed her to the wooden set of stair in the corner. The stairs slightly creaked under his weight, he estimated the house to be about 20+ years, maybe. Old but homey. Pictures adorned the walls of what could only be her family, but the lack of a ring on her left finger told told Hiro all he needed to about her marital status.

"Okay!" she said, she appeared to be quite happy, as though a stranger in her home excited her. A teenager, no less. “So this is the living area kind of place, there’s a kotatsu in the living room in front of the TV, which you are welcome to use at any time, as well as two couches.” She walked over to the kitchen, which had several green cabinets and lots of colorful cookware and towels. “This is the kitchen, of course. Do you know how to cook at all Hiro?” Her question caught Hiro off guard and he blushed slightly.

“No… I don’t really… No. Sorry.” He didn’t meet her eyes and he fidgeted with his sleeve nervously.

“Oh, that’s okay, I can teach you some stuff if you want later, but I was just wondering. If you’re feeling hungry at all, you can look for something in the fridge or the pantry. I’m not exactly the healthiest of eaters so, you don’t have to worry about a health food freak out or anything.” She giggled at her own joke then pointed down the hall. “My room is down there, and there’s a guest bathroom directly across from it.” Hiro peeked down the short hallway to confirm this, it looked like her room was pretty small, but tidy for the most part. From what he could see anyway.

She lead him to another set of stairs, one set going up and another going down. “The front door is down there, and over to the left is another living area, with another TV. That’s where Mochi and I curl up and watch cheesy Sci-Fi Videos. There’s a garage down there, too, I’ll show after I show you your room. I think you’ll like it a lot.” She smiled and motioned for Hiro to follow. They ascended up the wooden steps and into an attic living space, complete with it’s own bathroom. There was a large L shaped desk in one corner, and directly across from it was a full size bed with a dark blue satin cover and dark blue sheets. The bed’s headboard was directly in front of a large window, likely the turret, the small tower in the front of the house. There was a wardrobe at the far corner of the room, along with a rice paper divider for privacy. The bathroom had all the necessities a bathroom would need, and was well lit and clean.

“This is my room?” Hiro asked. He was more than a little astonished, given the room was huge, more likely meant to be shared than anything else.

“Yeah… Do you like it?” Cass stood next to the door watching the teen take in the room.

“It’s amazing…” He looked up at the rafters and the beams holding the roof of the building together. The walls were painted a refreshing, light turquoise, helping the light bounce around the room. The roof had sun windows here and there, letting light fall in.

“Will it be okay? Will you be comfortable in here?”

“I don’t see how I wouldn’t…” Hiro made an effort to smile at here, though it was tiny, and mostly forced. He hadn’t smiled in a while. Sitting his bags down on the bed he took in the softness of the bed. The mattress was comfortable, not super soft or firm.

Yes, he thought, I’ll be alright in here.

“Did you wanna see the downstairs or would you like to unpack for a moment?” Aunt Cass was still waiting patiently by the stairs.

“Um… I’ll unpack for a few minutes… I think.” Hiro looked down his lap, scrutinizing a hole in his cargo pants.

“Okay, well if you need me, I’ll be downstairs in the kitchen.” She smiled, and headed back down the stairs. As soon as he was sure she was gone, he whipped out his phone and checked all of the possible locations for his brother. If he could, at least, get out of the house for as little as and hour and a half, he might be able to visit a maximum of three locations. It wasn’t much, but it was one fourth of the way to Tadashi. He’d really have to book it though; it was already 4:13. He shoved his phone in his pocket as well as several hundred dollars in cash and ran down the stairs.

“Ah, there you are! Would you like me to show you the rest of the house?” She had several bowls of ingredients out and her hands were covered in what looked to be flour.

“Actually… I um… I was wondering if I might be able to go out for a bit…? I’ll be gone an hour and a half, tops.” He bounced awkwardly in his spot with a cheap smile plastered on his face. Aunt Cass studied him for a minute before going back to her cooking- what was it, hot wings? Maybe.

“Well I suppose, just be back before six okay? I’m making hot wings! The kind with the sauce that makes your face melt and stuff?” She made little _raaaah_ noise and waved her hands playfully.

“Okay, sounds good, I’llbebackBYE!” Hiro nearly tumbled down the stairs and on his way out.

One 15 minute trolley ride and two blocks later, he found himself in front of a white door, with a perfectly manicured lawn and wrought-iron fencing. The house was one of several carbon copies housing picket fence families.

This could be the moment of truth.

This could be Tadashi’s house.

Part of him didn’t feel ready, but part of him wanted to _just get on with it_ , he was tired of waiting.

He took one last glance behind him before reaching up and knocking on the door.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little Hiroshima - As anyone who'd taken U.S. History knows, the United States dropped an atomic bomb on Hiroshima during WW2. The association with the city and asian people in general stuck. Refers mainly to Japanese. Also a sick form of 'play on words' considering Hiro's name.
> 
> Coinslot - Refers to Hiro's eyes
> 
> Yellow - Refers to skin color (as compared to caucasians)
> 
> Jap - Refers to Hiro's Heritage
> 
> once again i apologize  
> Please know that it is NEVER okay to call someone these
> 
> the next chapter will be better in terms of content but is still gonna hurt like a motherfucker  
> *shrug emoji*


	3. Imbalancing Acts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiro Hamada's last day in that Hellhole he calls a school.  
> The first day seeing Hiro interact with a possible Tadashi.  
> What could go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's just some threats in the beginning of here, some slurs are used again.
> 
> Thank you to HidashiHaven for Beta-ing this! I love you!
> 
> See you at the end of the ride ;)

 

 _Useless. Empty. Brain!_ Hiro gripped his hair in his hands and pulled for all his strength was worth. He was an idiot. Seven out twelve Tadashi Hamadas turned out to be a major bust. He felt even stupider knowing all seven of them gave him a rather questionable look when he just stared at them for a moment, then turned around yelling something about this being a mistake, wrong, door, wrong house, wrong life- yada, yada, yada.

It had only been about three days since he’d taken up residency in Aunt Cass’s home, and she’d proven herself to be exactly what he expected: a harmless little woman, easily guilt tripped and manipulated this early in the stage of foster care. She was more likely let Hiro do what he likes for a while. He did his best not to use her though, she was a sweet woman and Hiro was not a mean spirited child.

At best, she had the responsibility of motherhood thrust upon her all of the sudden. Not only that, they’d given her a teenager. The normal ones were hard enough to deal with, but a literal technical prodigy with social anxiety and bullying issues? One could say she had her hands full.

But, Hiro could see she was ready for the challenge; she had no resentment, no annoyance in her eyes when she looked at Hiro. Only the pure love and nurturing affection that a mother could offer. She was the best foster parent, if not the strangest, that Hiro had ever had.

The cafe was a big plus, too, but Hiro would never admit that out loud.

Hiro was now wandering in the stadium locker room, dodging from corner to corner so that he wouldn’t have to go out to the field with the rest of the PE class.

Soccer, or rather, soccer exercises, it turned out was what they were doing that day, and if Hiro were completely honest, that was a definite nope. He was relieved for the most part that none of the boys from three days ago had bothered to show up today.

Yet.

He remembered the day he showed up to school after the whole affair in the boys’ locker room. He’d been in the stadium lockers hiding from class when he felt a large hand on his shoulder, pulling him into an awkward embrace, more along the lines of a head lock.

“Hiro!!! So glad to see you present today!” Damian’s voice echoed in his ears, immediately he began to struggle to get away.

“Get off me!” He grunted and finally managed to wiggle his head loose of the crushing embrace. He backed into Bri by mistake and quickly was backed into a corner.

"I was beginning to think after that cute little blow job you begged to give me, you weren’t gonna show today.” Adam made lude motions with his hand and mouth and Bri moaned mockingly. Hiro’s blood stopped cold in his veins, because, _oh my fucking god, he told them he told them all about it and probably warped the fucking story. Oh, my god, what do I do?!_ The term “paralyzed with fear" had never really made sense to Hiro until that very moment, where he stood frozen horror before a group of cruel, cruel boys.

“So, I’m gonna be real with yah, coinslots. If you tell anybody, I’ll make sure the whole school knows just how much cock-loving faggot you are.” Hiro didn’t say anything, he only shrunk further into the corner. “Comprendo, eggroll?!”

“Fine! Fine! I won’t tell anybody! Just leave me alone! Please!” Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes as terror filled his system.

As if anybody was going to believe him or take him seriously.

He was only going to be there for the rest of the day, but everyone knew how fast rumors spread in the school. He wouldn’t make it to the seventh period. So for the time being, he’d gotten real good at hide and seek.

Not good enough apparently, because Damian appeared right next to him and punched him in the arm. _Hard._

“Hey, coinslots, why aren’t you out on the field running a lap with the rest of the class?” Hiro found himself stammering and backing away-right into the cinderblock wall. Damian was on him fast, looming over him, planting his hands on either side of him and block his only exit. “Get your ass out on that field right now, or I’m gonna shove you into a locker.” Hiro turned his face away as best he could. Damian slammed his hand down on the wall next to him.

“Do it, faggot, or I’ll shove you in naked.” He snarled. Hiro whimpered and and barely managed a nod, collapsing on the ground when the older boy finally got off of him.

Hiro was alone for a few moments and he finally tried to breathe. A few heavy sobs found their way out, but he was eventually able to steady his breathing and stand up.

The field, as it were, was actually very nice, it was astroturf. It had garish red and blue letters advertising the home team, and had a six lane track surrounding it. It was mid-morning, so it was still cool, slightly chilly almost and Hiro was glad he’d brought his jacket.

He approached the gym teacher who appeared to be assigning groups. “Ah, Hiro, how nice of you to join us today.” His tone was clipped, almost annoyed . “Let’s see, I have you in group five with Jordan, Bri, and Damian.”

“But-" Hiro started to protest but was abruptly cut off.

“No buts. Get over there.” He nodded his head in the direction of his untimely demise. _He must have assigned these groups yesterday_ … Hiro thought. Ugh this going to be a pain, literally. In a way he felt better though, because he was out in the open, around other people, so they couldn’t do much.

“Little Hiroshima! How nice of you to join us. We were worried our favorite slut wasn’t gonna show!” Hiro just shrugged and stared at the turf. Better just get it over with.

“You start, squint eyes.” Bri threw the ball at Hiro, caught it with a slight _oof_. “What’s a matter? Did you forget how to think or something? Kick the ball in between those two cones over there.” Hiro followed his finger to an area marked off by two cones. For the average beginner, it would have been difficult to just kick the ball and have it land in between the cones in one try.

But, Hiro was no beginner.

Tossing the ball up lightly, he gracefully kicked it through the air and it landed with a plop right in between the two cones. _Child's play_.

“Pfft, beginners luck, now go get it.” Hiro just shrugged and ran after the ball. The boys weren’t looking, it would have been easy to throw and hit one of them in the head. He glanced around and noticed the other groups had either slowed down or stopped working all together. They were going to rotate soon. Hiro just decided to show off using fancy footwork instead.

“Alright twinkle toes, hand it over.” Damian outstretched his hand, his face was threatening. If Hiro didn’t know any better, he’d say that Damian was _actually_ the threatened one right now.

“Come and get it.”

 _Oh no_. That was a bad idea.

It all happened so quickly, Hiro almost didn’t know what hit him. What he did know was that his feet had _literally_ been swept out from under him and he was now on the damp astroturf.

“Thank you…” Damian said as he picked the ball up from the ground.

The whistle blew and it was time to switch stations. Apparently, theirs was practicing goalie. Hiro smirked slyly and followed the boys from a small distance. He was going to make short work out of all of them.

 

\- - -

 

Hiro would’ve laughed, if he didn’t have to run for his dignity. None of the boys were able to catch a single ball Hiro threw their way. Of course, he’d intentionally done that, it was a lovely way to humiliate them in return, and Hiro didn’t get shit for it. At least not from the administration, anyway.

But, oh, the boys were were fuming mad. As soon they got in the locker room, Hiro made a break for it, disregarding the fact the bell had not rung at all. Hiro ran as fast as two feet could carry him, but it was all for naught. Bri managed to grab him by his hood and yank him back several steps. He was slammed against the wall quite forcefully.

“So, you didn’t learn your lesson, you want more?!” Damian was shouting in his face, he felt the familiar force of his words hitting him square in the forehead. “Do you like having the shit beat out of you, is that what you like?!” Hiro shook his head, there were tears forming in his eyes. _Just one more day, one more day, and then you’re done._ He repeated the mantra in his head over and over seeking some sort of comfort.

He looked around, wondering why staff hadn’t come to see what the ruckus was, and he quickly realized they were in the center of a passing hall, the one that connected the school to the auditorium. It was only first period, no one would be down here at this time of day.

“Guys, back off, I think he’s had enough for one day.” It was Jordan who spoke up. He was looking nervous, and slightly upset.

“What did you say?” Damian turned around to face Jordan. “You want me to back off?"

“He’s terrified man, I don’t know what you _actually_ did to him the other day, but he’s pretty fuckin’ scared right now. Just leave him alone.” Jordan glanced at Hiro who was still held against the wall by Bri. They were all looking at him with the same incredulous stare.

“Are you going soft? You gonna turn into a little _faggot_ like him?” Damian was wearing the same crooked face as usual.

“Just back off before I make you."

Damian seemed to consider the threat before scoffing walking away. Bri shoved Hiro’s arm into the wall before following suit.

It was just him and Jordan. He watched him for any sign of movement, any indication at all he was going to hurt him. He just stood still.

“I’m sorry.” Jordan said after a while. He looked down at the ground and fidgeted with his sleeve.

“I don’t want your pity.” Hiro spat the words out like they were poison. That’s all people did was pity him, and he was tired of it.

“You’re… You’re right. You’re a brilliant person, and we’re all envious. You deserve so much better.” He only nodded at Hiro after that, before turning and leaving him too.

Hiro really didn’t know what happened, but he was sure as hell not gonna dwell on it. He definitely wasn’t going to his second period. Maybe he could just hide out in the back corner of the engineering lab.

Wasn’t like he had anywhere else to go.

 _There were a few infinite truths to the universe_ , Hiro thought. One was that kids, no matter what their background and family life, were capable of being extremely cruel to those weaker, or smarter, or better than them. The second was that no matter how cruel some kids were, of those kids, some of them were capable of change. It was rare, but still possible.

Hiro ‘snuck’ himself into the engineering lab and his teacher just ‘happened’ to not see or hear him enter. At least that was the alibi, what really happened went more along the lines of:

“Did’yer teacher kick you out again?”

“Sure."

“Alright, you know the drill.”

Hiro was nearly crying tears of joy because, god, _his teacher was so fucking chill about fucking everything_. He sat down at one of the better soldering stations, jammed his earbuds in his ears, and finished off his chip. It was a nice little card drive, that originally held about one terabyte of memory, but Hiro was smart. He rigged the little chip to his specifications, it now held about five terabytes of space. Who needed five terabytes of space? You never knew in this kind of business. Space was always handy.

He smiled thoughtfully as he clipped the translucent green casing around the drive, it fit like glove. He held it up to the light to see his finished handy work, admiring the way the green plastic caught the light. It was beautiful.

“Did’jya finish it? Let’s see if it works.” Hiro begrudgingly got up because, of course, _it works, I made it. Duh_. He let his teacher have the benefit of a doubt. He watched with a teeny grin plastered on his smug little face as, yep, there it was. The file reader brought it up, ready transfer any files.

“Wow. I’m impressed. Is that five terabytes?!” His teacher leaned forward squinting at the screen. “Why would you need that much space?”

Hiro chuckled lightly and looked down at his shoes. The had a small hole in the side.

“I dunno. Ten thousand medical procedures?” He shrugged and looked at the mountain of paperwork and homework yet to be graded. Maybe his teacher was a little too chill.

“Well, whatever you use it for, I’m sure it will be awesome. You truly are a brilliant kid, Hiro.”

“Thanks… I guess.” He mumbled. He hated being complimented, it made feel like a bug being scrutinized under a microscope.

“What are you going to work on now?” His teacher looked up expectantly at him. He expected great things from Hiro, and Hiro really didn’t think himself all that great.

“Probably my bot I built… You know, the one with the faces?” Hiro made a small up and down motion with his feet. He was _way_ out of his comfort zone right now, and he really just wanted to go back to working.

His teacher seemed to sense his discomfort and handed him his chip back. “Okay. Just keep it down, can’t have my students being loud in here.” Hiro was about to ask him what he was talking about when saw his teacher chuckling. _Oh… It’s a joke. I see. It's because I'm always quiet._

He went back to his soldering station and took apart one the the servos entirely. It kept malfunctioning during use, and while it hadn’t cost him anything during a battle he still wanted it to be in the best condition to show Tadashi.

_Maybe I’ll find him soon._

 

\- - -

 

Getting away from Aunt Cass that day had been almost _too_ easy, he now stood in front of the door of one of several painted ladies. It was quaint, stood on a hillside, and if anyone bothered to close enough, they could see the house was also quite small in terms of space. Tall did not necessarily mean big.

He took a deep breath, reaching up, and slamming the knocker down a couple times. He highly doubted he’d have any luck today seeing as how luck was _never_ on his side. He waited several minutes before he heard loud clacking, and polite and cheery “Just a moment!” A tall, blond, caucasian woman, not over the age of forty opened the door. She was wearing a floral dress and what looked to be very expensive stilettos.

Picture perfect family.

Almost.

“Yes, can I help you?” She smiled down at Hiro politely, and,  _lord was she tall_. Hiro seemed at a loss for words.

“I, uh… I, um… I’m looking for Tadashi Hamada?” He looked up at her bright blue eyes, and he could see the aging she was trying desperately to hide.

“Oooh!” She squealed “You must be one of ‘Dashi’s friends! Oh just a moment dear, I’ll go get him for you.” She disappeared and called up the stairs gently. “‘Dashi, honey, someone’s here to see you!” He heard excited walking and saw feet running directly down the stairs, but he still, for the life of him, couldn’t see inside.

Hiro finally learned the meaning of being totally unprepared when the screen burst open.

“Wasabi?” The boy in front of him seemed perplexed when standing at the doorway in front of him was not ‘Wasabi’, but some ragtag boy with wild black hair. Hiro recognized him immediately but he also seemed totally and _completely_ unfamiliar. Or at least Hiro thought, he wasn’t the version his head had built up. He was wearing a black T-shirt with a light grey cardigan and brown corduroy jeans. His hair was brushed and trimmed neatly, save for a few sprigs.

The boy tilted his head to the side slightly. “Can I help you?"

“You’re… You’re who I’m looking for.” Hiro felt tears prick his eyes again, but they were happy. He felt so, so relieved after a long time.

“I… Am?” He tilted his head more, still confused. He looked like a magnificent raven, pondering the wonders of the world before him.

“It’s me, Hiro. Don’t you remember me? Hehe, it's been a while.” Something flickered in Tadashi's eyes and he leaned inward toward the door.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know you…” He shook his head softly to convey the message as well.

“It’s me, Hiro Hamada? We-We’re brothers, twins! An-an-and there was a fire and-and they died and we got separated, and you got adopted and they… They put me in foster care…?” Hiro was beginning to panic now, that maybe he was just crazy or desperate or something…

“I’m sorry, I don’t know you.” The boys face took on a stony expression, like Hiro was digging at a subject he’d rather not talk about.

“Tadashi, please! You have to remember me, you _have to!_ We’re brothers!” The tears were starting to stream down Hiro’s face, but he didn’t care because he was _losing_ the last and only thing that mattered to him.

“You need to leave.” He looked around nervously and started to enter the house once more.

“Don’t go please, you’re my brother! You’re the only thing I have left!”

Tadashi turned to face him. His features were completely unrecognizable as a facial expression. When he turned, his heel squeaked on the waxed hardwood flooring. Hiro could see his knuckles turning white from gripping the screen door.

“I don’t have a brother."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hit me with rocks i know what i'm fucking doing
> 
> Anyway, I wanted to address the Assault scene in the previous chapter. Some people thought it was unrealistic that Hiro simply cried after he was sexually assaulted and then moved on like nothing happened without telling annyone. Well, I can tell you that this is most certainly not the case. You see, Hiro's a smart kid, he thinks things through and he knows how to problem solve. What I had Hiro choose to do instead was have him not dwell on what happened. Did it affect him at all? Hell yeah, he's no uncomfortable being in a one on one situation with ANYONE, as demonstrated with Aunt Cass. You'll see him later in the fic watching people, studying them to make sure they're not a threat to him. 
> 
> "Why doesn't he tell anyone?" Good question! Lets think about this for a minute: Hiro Hamada is a fourteen year old teenage BOY. He's barely hit puberty, and he goes to school in an environment where he's shunned, bullied, and resented for his talents. He's assaulted and who is he honestly going to go to? He's not comfortable around adults, he doesn't have any friends. Who is he going to go to that's going to believe him and take him seriously? I'm sure many of you have already seen the repercussions of men and boys speaking out against rape and sexual assault. It's disgusting the way people treat them like they're less, like they're weak or something. But unfortunately that's what would realistically happen if Hiro were to speak up about it. 
> 
> Just some food for thought.
> 
> Another thing I want to point out is that Hiro's reaction is completely valid, most (if not all) are completely valid reactions to being assaulted like that. there is no right way to react really, no one should even have to experience that. But that's the kind of reality we live in. Does that make it okay? No. That's the way it is.
> 
> Okay lemme just step off my soapbox. next update should be on monday, I kind want to draw tomorrow for a fic that joey made. I also have commissions i need to start on.


	4. Changing Paces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiro begins classes in a new school. What could possibly happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god i hope you guys like this chapter

“Hiro! Time to wake up, pumpkin!” Aunt Cass’s cheery voice cut through Hiro’s dreamy shroud like a knife through butter. He groaned and rolled over, balling himself up in the sheets and comforter.

“Come on, sweetie, you’re going to a new school today! It’ll be fun!” The curtains were yanked open, letting the early morning sun assault his eyes.

“You lie.” Hiro grunted and rolled over, pulling a pillow on top of his head for good measure. She sat down next to him, petting his hair gently.

“Come on, Hiro. You came home really bummed yesterday, don’t you it think might be refreshing for a little change in scenery?”

Bummed didn’t even begin to describe how he felt. He were to find a word for it, it would be more along the lines of destroyed. Dismantled. Eradicated. Extinguished.

He’d run from the sickeningly green painted house with hot tears burning trails down his cheeks. He didn’t know where he was running, he wasn’t really trying to go anywhere.

Eventually, he found himself in the seedier section of the city. Suspicious people dogged in and out of alleyways while drunkards wandered aimlessly and prostitutes crowed.

It wasn’t long before he found a crowd spilling out of an alley. The sound of clanging metal and shouting echoed in his ears.

_A bot fight._

Hiro could feel Megabot in his bag, the heavy metal servos sitting neglected at the bottom of his bag. The alleyway beckoned, he could feel the gravitational pull drowning out his inner screaming conscience.

_Just one bot fight…_

Would Tadashi have been proud of him? Would he have cared about his brother going forth into a dangerous atmosphere like this? Would he have cared at all about Hiro’s future if he remembered him at all?

He sighed and drew up his hood, turning around and walking home. It was nearly five-thirty, Cass would be getting worried soon. Two and a half cigarettes were enough to soothe his nerves but he was still extremely depressed.

 _What’s the point in life now...?_  He wondered

“Hiro…?” Cass’s voice cut through the shroud once more. “Come on, buddy, it won’t be that bad.” She eventually was able to peel the sheets off of a very reluctant Hiro, who eventually sat up and blinked.

“Ew.” he looked around at the rather empty-ish room, considering he didn’t have many possessions. “Ugh, I don’t wanna go to school.”

“Well you have to, I don’t make all the rules here.” She dropped some fresh towels in his lap and then headed towards the stairs. “Come on, I’ll make you fresh pancakes for breakfast if you’ll get off your butt.”

“You were gonna do that anyway weren’t you?” He called after as she ascended down the stairs.

“Maybe.”

“Mmhhmm, sure.” Hiro listened for any more comments but there was only the clinking of bowls and silverware.

_She’s a nice woman, he thought. I don’t wanna push her._

He got up and crawled his way to the bathroom where he purposely took a scalding hot shower and brushed his teeth till his gums hurt.

He trudged down the stairs slowly, looking at all the pictures of what looked like Cass’s nieces, and nephews, brothers and sisters. She used to have a family. She still does, if anything.

Hiro didn’t even have that.

He found Cass happily humming to herself and flipping pancakes over a griddle. She smiled at him and handed him a plate of chocolate chip pancakes covered in whipped cream and strawberries. He dug in without hesitation.

“You gotta hurry up and eat bud. As soon as you’re finished, I’m gonna drive you to school.” Hiro coughed on his pancakes and quickly swallowed.

“It’s really okay, you don’t have to do that!” Laughing nervously, he glanced aside and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

“Oh hush, I had to switch schools when I was in school, I know how hard it is. And don’t worry,” she said, putting milk and eggs back into the fridge. “I won’t do any of that embarrassing mom stuff, I’ll just drop you off and go.” Hiro couldn’t find it in him to argue further. She really was just trying to be nice. So, he just wolfed down the rest of his food instead.

The word ‘awkward’ did the car ride there an awful injustice, Hiro swore he could feel the air in between them. He spent most of his time picking and biting at his nails in nervous anticipation of the day ahead of him. Cass was the first to break the silence.

“If you want, I can pick you up after school and we can get you some new clothes? Does that sound like fun?” She kept her eyes on the road, but her smile was soft and caring, like it usually was.

“Y-you don’t have to spend your money on me, that’s okay.” He shifted nervously in his seat, crossing his legs.

“Well, I’m not really supposed to tell you this but, the social services gives me like $550 check every month for things like that, so technically it’s not my money, but it still needs to be spent.”

Hiro considered this for a moment before shrugging and looking out the window. “I mean… If you’re sure… Then, I guess.”

They pulled up to the lot of the school, Cass parking near the massive front entrance.

The school was huge, more than twice the size of his old school. The student’s all looked a little more prestigious as well.

_Great. Rich bitch kids._

He made no move to exit the car, only stared at the kids passing by.

“Hey. I’m proud of you, no matter what.” He turned look at Aunt Cass who was smiling warmly at him.

“Hey, Aunt Cass?”

“Yes?”

“Can I… Can I have a hug?”

Aunt Cass didn’t even hesitate; she reached over and pulled Hiro into a gentle and loving embrace. For once, Hiro didn’t feel uncomfortable. He squeezed her back lightly before pulling away.

“Thanks… I, um… I should go…” He pointed at the the door, and began to exit the cab, grabbing his backpack as he slid out. He shut the door behind him and turned to look at Cass once more.

“Good luck, sweetie!” Cass waved to him and then drove off, leaving him standing in front of the massive structure.

_Good luck, right._

He scoffed to himself as he headed inside.

_As if that actually exists._

\---

Once he’d gathered his schedule and school ID from a rather grumpy secretary, he wandered the grand foyer, looking around and observing the scene.

It was like any other high school, except the students seemed to be dressed in slightly more expensive clothing. Many of them carried iPhones or Samsungs and the like, almost all of the most recent models.

Hiro felt his own scrubby little phone burn a hole in his pocket.

Life must be nice when you have money, he thought. He could upgrade to nicer things, but he promised. No more bot fighting. His main source of income was brought to a halt.

They all stayed in their own little groups, hardly sparing him a glance. He was slightly grateful, but also felt incredibly alone.

He noticed the halls beginning to thin and decided to head to his first class, which he had no trouble finding, even though the school was mammoth and he was like a field mouse amongst cornstalks.

There didn’t seem to be a whole lot of people in the class yet, but after the bell rang, he found there just weren’t a whole lot of people in the class, period.

Reluctantly, he went up to the teacher and tapped gently on her arm.

“Oh, honey, freshman classes are on the other side of the school. Do you need me to write you a pass?” Hiro was taken aback.

_Freshman…? Oh, right._

He was short and four years ahead of his peers.

“No, actually um, I’m supposed to be in this class. Advanced English Lit. IV right? I should be on the attendance roster.” He bounced impatiently on one heel, looking at her forehead.

“Name?”

“Uh, Hiro, Hiro Hamada?” She lifted her reading glasses and squinted at the attendance roster for a moment.

“Ah yes, you’re the new student. You’re very young to be in Advanced Lit. class, are you sure you’re gonna be able to keep up?” She picked up couple of thick packets handed them to Hiro.

“I think I can manage… Where should I sit?” He glanced over the packets. Moby Dick reading questions. Chapters one through six. Easy enough. Maybe.

“Mmm, you can sit anywhere you like, but if you’re not sure, I can suggest you go sit with Fred over there. He’s pretty friendly, and he’s about your age, I think.” She pointed at a lanky, tall boy with long sandy hair in a beany and red t-shirt and cargo shorts. He was hunched over his desk, nose deep in a comic book. Hiro nodded at the teacher and nervously approached the deeply absorbed teen.

“H-Hi there. Can I sit here?” The boy’s head shot up at an alarming rate and he looked directly at Hiro. Hiro was taken by surprise and stepped back a little ways.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Do not be alarmed, I was just reading. The name’s Fred. High school student by day but at night, I am also a high school student.” He offered his hand, which Hiro took, gave it a few couple of shakes before motioning to the seat next to him. “So what’s your name, little dude? I don’t think I’ve seen you around before. But you do look a lot like one of my friends, just not with all the-” he waved his hands around his head. “-all the funky hair going on.”

“Oh, haha… I’m Hiro.” Hiro blushed and glanced off to the side.

“He doesn’t mean that to be offensive. Fredward doesn’t really have a filter for his mouth.” A voice piped up behind him.

He turned to see a rather tall boy with dark skin and short dreads held out of his face with dreads.

“I told you man, call me Fredzilla.” Fred point at him and faked a torqued face.

“Fred, that’s not a name.”

“It is now!” He turned back to Hiro and pretended to whisper even though the one boy was clearly still listening. “Wasabi’s just a party killer, don’t worry about him.” _Wasabi… Where have I heard that before…?_

“I spilled wasabi on my shirt one time, Fred. One. Time” He clicked his pencil and set it down with an odd amount of precision and control. Hiro watched the two of them squabble about names and sushi for a while and then turned to his packet. He was nearly complete with the second question when Fred’s hand waved in front of his face.

“So, my fine crazy haired friend, what brings a youngster such as yourself into an advanced placement class such as this?” He was leaning on his hand, propped up by his elbow on the desk.

“Oh… uh… I’m kind of… Kind of advanced, I guess?” _Don’t tell them you’re a genius, they’re only gonna hate you for it._ He tried to squelch the little voice in the back of his mind but most of him already believed it.

“You like a genius or something? I know a kid who’s got like an IQ of 187 or somethin’. He’s like, ridiculously smart.” he looked at his nails like it wasn’t a big deal.

“There’s a genius in the school?” _You almost said another genius. Don’t let slip up or say bye-bye to your new friends_. He tried to sit casually, but his leg kept slipping and his foot wouldn’t stay still.

“Oh, yeah, dude, there’s loads of em here in the school. It’s like, ‘the gifted school’ or something. Their parents enroll them here because it’s the ‘best education all around’. Kind of silly really. Like, me n’ Wasabi are in here because English just comes really good to us. I also needed another elective credit, apparently. But me n’ him are both sophomores, so it’s like no big deal. I mean, if you are one that’s cool, but we’re not gonna treat you differently or anything.” He shrugged and looked at Wasabi, who was shaking his head. “What?”

“Having a high IQ does not automatically make you a genius.” Wasabi rubbed his eyes his fingers and sighed deeply.

“Well, duh, I know that, but it damn sure helps.” Hiro’s heart melted in relief, because, _oh my god,_ he found people just like him. There were people who were gifted, _just like him._ Still he decided to test the waters a little bit first.

“188…” He whispered. Fred’s head popped up from where he was lounging, leaning back against the desk.

“Dude, what?”

“My IQ… it’s 188…” Hiro watched as Fred threw his head back and laughed. Hiro thought for a moment he’d been lied too, and the actually were going to make fun of him until Fred opened his mouth again.

“He’s one point higher than TD, man! Dude’s gonna be so pissed!” He was laughing hard.

“Dude, he doesn’t get pissed about anything. Like ever.”

“I beg to differ, did you see him this morning? He looked like shit, man. Snapped at me when I said hi too.”

“First off, no. I didn’t see him. Second, he probably snapped at you because you’re annoying.”

“You’re just jealous because you wish you could be this cool.”

“Just stop.”

“Pfft, whatever man.” He turned back to Hiro. “You got a schedule at all, bro?”

Hiro looked down at his person and pulled out the now slightly crumpled schedule. “I.. uh… Yeah.”

Fred examined the schedule and Wasabi lead in close to his head.

“So, now you’re stalking him?”

“Shush.” Wasabi leaned back into his seat and continued his work. He had everything organized in neat piles and stacks, even his eraser and pencils. “You’ve got Advanced Engineering and then two Independent Study periods, whoa, dude.” he handed Hiro his paper. “It’s like, right after lunch, so you like, totes hang out with us. We always go to the engineering room. Wait, are you buying a lunch?” He squinted at Hiro suspiciously, Hiro felt like maybe bringing a lunch wasn’t such a good idea after all…

“No…” Hiro mentally kicked himself for whimpering.

“Okay, good, because the school lunch food is not edible, except for the pizza.” Hiro let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. He was worried out about his lunch, it was absolutely pathetic.

“Okay… I’ll try to remember that…” He fidgeted nervously in his seat, he felt like his every move was being judged.

“Bell’s about to ring, by the way, if you want to pack up your stuff.” Fred pointed at the clock.

It was amazing how quickly time passed.

He was standing now, having put his comic issue away and was heading near the door. Wasabi was already waiting there, staring at the clock expectantly.

“Just meet us by the Engineering Labs for lunch, okay?” And then the bell rang and Fred was swept out the door with the crowd of impatient students.

“Okay…” Hiro managed to make out weakly. He wasn’t sure but he thought maybe, just maybe, he might actually have just made his first friend.

\---

The engineering hall was huge. Several classrooms and workshops each with their own purpose. There was autotech, biomechanics, chemical engineering, robotics, you name it, they probably had it.

Hiro felt like he was reduced to the size of an ant because he had never seen a school this fucking big before.

There were students here and there, talking in small groups of three or four, but no one paid him any mind. In fact, they hardly seemed to notice him.

He was about to turn and flee when he heard Fred’s voice down the hall. “Hiro! My man! Over here bro!” He waved Hiro towards a door labeled ‘Robotics Engineering Lab - Rm 2046’.

It was a large room with lots of space for working. Three industrial 3D printers sat in one corner, and there were all kinds hand tools and power tools neatly put away and hanging on pegboards on the walls. There were machines for lifting and machines for precision cutting, and bins full of spare parts and rinky dink objects available for the students to use. Large industrial fluorescent lights kept the concrete room nice and bright, shining down on several square desks with four stools to each.

It was definitely a nerd’s paradise.

There was a door that led to computer lab, from what Hiro could see through the small window. It appeared to be empty except for a girl with long blonde hair and pink glasses, wearing sunshine yellow dress.

“Hiro, bro! You can finally meet the rest of gang!” He was carrying an absurd amount of pizza (six trays?), he set them down at a table already preoccupied by Wasabi and a short asian girl. “Okay, you already met Wasabi. That’s Gogo right there, she’s nice, usually. And…” He looked around the room, appearing confused.

“The other two are in the lab talking.” Gogo nodded towards the computer lab, eyeing Hiro down as well. He felt kind exposed under her stare, picked apart and bare.

“Thank yah, Gogo.” He strode unceremoniously to the lab door, pushed the handle down, and leaned in as the door swung open slowly. “Hey, get your butts in here, I got everybody pizza.”

The blonde girl was first to exit. She was rather tall, even without the Mary Jane heels she was wearing. She towered above just about everybody, except for Wasabi.

“Freddy, is this the kid you were telling me about in third period?” She set a large pink binder down on the table and ran hugged Hiro, rather tightly. “I am so excited to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you! You’re gonna love it here!” She kissed both of Hiro’s cheeks before hopping back to her seat in excitement. Fred explained that her name was Honey Lemon, and that she was really good at sciencey types of experiments.

“She set a piece of magnesium on fire once, it was awesome!” Fred had pulled up a chair and was sitting on it with the back facing the table.

“It’s really… Not…” She smiled shyly.

“It was too, it kept sparking and turning blue and stuff. Anyway, everyone this is-”

“Hiro...?”

That voice. It was soft, and deep, but still had yet to develop. Hiro turned around to see deep amber staring into his own, questioning, disbelieving.

Tadashi…

He looked… Sleep deprived, if the darkened circles under his eyes were anything to go by. His eyes were slightly red, like he’d been crying recently. His hair was disheveled, like he’d forgot to comb it. The charm that surrounded him yesterday seemed to be in short supply.

Hiro didn’t know what to say. What can you say to someone who refused you from their life? It’s not exactly in the guidebook to life.

If there even was one.

All at once, he felt arms enveloping him in a deep embrace. The arms around him held on for dear life, as though if they let go they’d be lost forever. Heavy, uneven sobs shook the person his arms, his breathing becoming irregular to the cries that escaped him.

No one dared to speak a word.

“Hiro…” Tadashi hiccuped into his shoulder. “Hiro, I’m so sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I GAVE THE NOODLE BOY A BREAK
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER MIGHT BE A ROLLER COASTER


	5. Bad Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Tadashi's point of veiw. Everything changes from here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'M SORRY FOR THISSS

Tadashi pulled his glasses off and rubbed his eyes methodically, leaning back and sighing. He’d been studying ap government for the better part of two hours, and he still had a long way to go. He glanced at the thick APUSH and Law II textbooks sitting next his desk and groaned. _I hate this…_ He thought. _I just want to work on my robotics project._

He knew better. Studies first, and then play time. That’s just the way it was in the Ellis household.

Of course, Tadashi knew he wasn’t a _real_ Ellis, god no. That was made painfully obvious by the many people who’d asked him why he was Asian and his parents were not. As tiring as many stupid questions were, he always responded with kindness in a gentle tone, easily masking his own annoyance.

“It’s because I’m adopted.” He’d say, like it was no big deal. Of course, it was a very big deal, Tadashi was _nothing_ like the pale couple who’d adopted him at the age of four. That was made more and more apparent as time went on. Tadashi did not take on after his adoptive parents; in his opinion, he found them very biased, judgemental, and sometimes just plain rude. He remembered the time he brought the boy down the street in for some lemonade and few hours of studying; his mother had asked if he was dating a “special girl” and the boy straight up said he was gay.

“I don’t like girls, I like boys.” Was all he said, and the moment it was out of his mouth, Tadashi could see the scowl in his mother’s eyes. She put on a painfully plastic grin and said, “That’s nice.” She refused to let them go up to Tadashi’s room alone at all because, heaven forbid, his _friend_ might try to put the moves on _him_. Two hours later, no sooner had Tadashi had seen him off, did Mrs. Ellis guided him to the couch and sat him down. She looked straight into his eyes and said he was not allowed to talk to him anymore. Tadashi was confused, until his mother explained why.

“We do not tolerate _fags_ in this household, Tadashi. I don’t want those condemned, _filthy_ animals under my roof, do you understand me?” Her tone was stern and her face was hard set. Tadashi nodded solemnly in response. He understood alright. He understood that anybody who wasn’t straight wasn’t safe in his home. He even took the time to carefully explain to the boy what had happened, and made extra room in the morning to share notes and homework, and even just talk to him.

It made no difference to Tadashi who you were and what your life was like. As long as you were at least a decent human being for the most part, he didn’t mind you at all. For this reason, he became increasingly popular in the school, mostly known for his kindness, his humor, and his intellect. He didn’t care much for it though, it didn’t bring him much happiness.

Life in general didn’t bring him much happiness, he was simply living in a shell. His parents wanted for him an expensive and thorough education, an illustrious college career in law school (Harvard or Yale, his choice), and then to become one of the world's youngest and brightest lawyers. There was nothing wrong with that, Tadashi thought. It just wasn’t for him. He wanted to go to SFIT, earn a degree in robotics and engineering, and he wanted to help the world become a better place through his invention. He’d already been thinking about a soft, huggable nursebot that could help the elderly and sick.

What he didn’t understand was why did his parents did not want him to major in robotics. They not only discouraged it, they damn near made him forfeit it all together. His was barely lucky to escape with a robotics class at all, and only because he begged his counsellor behind closed doors to put the class in for at least one period. Thankfully, the counselor took pity on him, as he was an excellent student and role model, and it was his final year in school. She signed off on the schedule, and thus it was written in stone.

Tadashi didn’t want to hate his parents though, he wanted to love them, but it’s difficult to love the people in your life that are in control and manipulating everything. Sometimes, he almost wished he’d died in the fire with his parents. He felt bad thinking that, but it was true. He was miserable.

He thought about it constantly, even now as he scanned his AP Gov. notes, that he was considered to be so incredibly blessed with everything he had, and he didn’t want any of it at all. He was constantly caught in the crossfire between wanting to throw it all away and just dealing with it because his parents could only control him for so long, right?

“‘Dashi, honey, someone’s here to see you!” He heard his mother’s overly sweet voice invade his room like a virus. He hated that nickname, no matter how many times he objected to it. His mother only laughed and ruffled his hair. But, someone here to see him…? It was probably Wasabi coming to return the book he lent him a few days ago. It was still more fun than reading about the voting process.

He darted out of his chair and down the stairs, and nearly slammed the door open. “Wasabi?!” He looked around and found, not a tall African American teen with short dreads and a bandana, but a small boy with wild hair and Asian eyes looking quite nervous. “Can I help you?” Who exactly was this kid? He seemed extremely familiar in a way, but he could think of where he’d seen or met him before.

“You’re… You’re who I’m looking for.” He looked like he was on the verge of tears now, very happy ones going by the way he was smiling fondly at him. Oh-kay…

“I… am?”

“It’s me, Hiro. Don’t you remember me?” _Hiro…_ The name hit him like a bullet, ricocheting and echoing in his brain. _Hiro… Hiro… Hii...rro… Haa… Hamada… Hiro Hamada…_ His brother. _No,_ he thought, not you. _You’re supposed to be dead…_ Perhaps someone at school had dug his lineage and was playing a really cruel joke right now. Yeah, that’s all it was, a cruel joke.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know you…” He leaned instinctively back into the house, as though it’d offer some protection from the person in front of him.

“It’s me, Hiro Hamada? We-We’re brothers, twins even! An-an-and there was a fire and-and they died and we got separated, and you got adopted and they… They put me in foster care…?” Tadashi’s heart pounded in his chest, he was more scared right then and there than he’d ever been in his life. _How could you possibly know about the fire… and my twin brother… He died… didn’t he?_ He wasn’t so sure now, as the reality before him was entirely the opposite.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know you.” He schooled his expressions into something more unreadable, more neutral. The boy before him looked like he was about to panic.

“Tadashi, please! You have to remember me, your have to! We’re brothers!” Tears were streaming down his rounded cheeks, his lip worried between his gaptooth and bottom teeth. God, what was he supposed to do?! No one told him this could happen, no one told him this was a possibility! He couldn’t let him in the house, lord knows what his parents might do to him…

“You need to leave.” Tadashi glanced around to make sure his dad wasn’t on his way down the street and his mother wasn’t anywhere near. It was not safe here. He turned to go back inside the house, he wasn’t going to be able to hold up the facade he was wearing.

“Don’t go please, you’re my brother! You’re the only thing I have left!” The boy truly was crying now, and was shaking and he looked so desperate. Tadashi wanted so badly to wrap his arms around him and hold him, but god he was dealing with his own crisis right now, and he could afford to be a little bit selfish… Couldn’t he? Slowly he turned on his heel and turned to face the sobbing stranger outside his door way.

“I don’t have a brother."

 

\---

 

“You lied to me!!” Tadashi was screaming now, huddled in a ball next to the base of his bed. His mother was trying to approach him gently and soothe him, get him to calm down, and Tadashi was having none of it. “You lied to me, how could you lie to me like that?!” Hot tears streamed down his face, he felt so betrayed and belittled, like his parents disregarded any feelings he might have been entitled to.

“Lied about what?!” His mother was becoming more and more frustrated with him, opting for brash statements instead of soothing words and apologies.

“You told me he was dead!! He’s alive!! You lied to me!!” Tadashi continued to look at his mother with the absolute anger and betrayal that smothered his heart that very moment. “Do you even love me at all?!”

Mrs. Ellis turned white as a sheet. Her face became a stoney mixture of anger and guilt. She grabbed Tadashi and yanked him up by the ear, dragging him downstairs, entirely ignoring his shrieks of pain. They reached the living room and Tadashi was seated rather harshly in one the two couches facing each other.

“You stay right there until your father comes home. Am I understood?” Tadashi refused to look at her and so she grabbed his ear again, forcing him to look at her. “Am I understood?!”

“Yes!” He choked out. He was still crying and he was beyond angry now.

He stared at the floor for over half an hour before he heard the car pull into the driveway, and then keys grating in the lock. Fear gripped the back of his neck, and for the first time that evening, he was afraid. Mr. Ellis did not tolerate any sort of behavior he deemed inappropriate, Tadashi learned this the hard way, several times. His dad walked in, passing him without so much as a word, entering the kitchen where Mrs. Ellis was fixing dinner. He could hear them whispering intensely in the kitchen most likely deciding how to deal with him. Eventually, they both came in and sat across from him, Mr. Ellis with his elbows on his knees with his hands clasped in front of him, and Mrs. Ellis with her hands folded neatly in her lap. Tadashi kept his gaze fixed on the floor. It was quiet for a little while, and then Mr. Ellis spoke.

“I understand you are a bit upset with us.” If that wasn’t an understatement, he didn’t know what was.

“You lied to me about my brother. You told me he died in the fire, and I grew up thinking that my brother was dead, my entire real family is dead. And then he showed up on our doorstep, and I thought it was a stupid joke, but I’m pretty sure that kid really is my brother, and you expect me not to be angry?!” Tadashi didn’t realize he’d stood up and was now yelling.

“Sit. Down.” Mr. Ellis’s voice sounded stern and deep. Tadashi was walking a fine line now. “I understand you’re angry, but that does not give you the right to yell such hurtful things at your mother.”

“Hurtful? Hurtful?! It hurts because it’s true! You don’t love me, not as your son and you never have! I was just the replacement for your last son, and you know it! You hate the fact that am nothing like him so you try and force it on me and I can-”

_Smack._

Everything froze for a moment while he registered what had just happened. It stung, like a thousand bees had attacked all at once, and then it just faded into heat, the tears rolling down his cheek leaving cool trails.

His father had just hit him.

_Again._

“Do not ever speak to us in that manner!!” You are no position to back talking like that, and I don’t ever want to hear those words leave your mouth again, am I clear?!” Tadashi flinched at his voice, it sounded like an avalanche, deep, and cold, and angry. Tadashi mumbled a, “Yes sir”, and brought his hand up to nurse his aching cheek.

“I said, am I clear?!” Tadashi flinched at every syllable, like it was a strike to his back with a switch.

“Yes, sir!” He was frightened, so very frightened, because the man in front of him held so much power and he used to his advantage. All too often had bruises been left in the wake of his large calloused fists. He could still feel the belt on his back from last week (opting to doodle robots instead of studying and his dad had walked in and caught him), sometimes he still felt the aching for weeks afterwards. At the very least, he hadn’t been drinking tonight… Yet. He regretted even opening his mouth at all, but he couldn’t help it. He was just so angry and upset and _lost_ , what was he _supposed to do?_

“I don’t want to see your face for the rest of the evening. Go upstairs. Now.” His voice was just dark now, like stones rolling across hollow rock.

Tadashi nodded quickly and excused himself, running up the stairs as quickly as he could. He shut the door behind him and sank to the floor, and just sobbed.

God, he was an idiot. What had he been thinking? He threw his only opportunity to reunite with his brother who was still alive because he was afraid of the outcome, and then lashed out at his parents because of what they told him when he was a child. Did they know Hiro was alive all this time? Did they just assume he was dead because they'd never seen him? He didn't remember when he was adopted, everything before the age of six was a blur to him, he didn't remember much.

Maybe, he was wrong, his parents didn't deserve any of this... No, no, they didn't deserve this. They were trying as hard as they could to raise him, he was far out of line. _God I'm a horrible child,_ he thought. _They're... They're trying as hard as they can and I... I'm just being difficult._

But was he? Were his feelings valid at all? Did he deserve to feel angry like this...? Thinking about it was just exhausting him. He could memorize facts and numbers and theorems all day, but throw any sort of emotional struggle at him and it was all systems shut down from there.

He crawled into his bed and curled into a ball in the corner, not bothering to take his clothes off. After a while, his mind felt rather blank, like he was traveling along a dark path with nothing to guide him.

Eventually, he began to see something in the distance. Dark trees began to outline themselves against a dark purple background. The something in the distance eventually became a person facing away from him. The were wearing a blue jacket and cargo pants and had extremely messy black hair.

“Hiro…?” The teen gave no indication he’d heard Tadashi at all, only continued to stand still. He reached out to touch his shoulder lightly. “Hiro, what’s wro-”

He was cut short by the hand that shot out and gripped his wrist. Black fingernails dug into into his skin, creating angry, red crescent lines. Hiro turned to look at him and his eyes, _Oh, god, his eyes,_ the pupils were bright pink like the color of one of his mother’s many pairs of stilettos. They burned with anger like he’d never seen before.

“ _Why did you leave me Tadashi?_ ” He could hear Hiro’s teeth grating against each other, he was snarling like vicious animal. His voice sound very childlike, unlike what he’d heard before. It was unnervingly calm and chilled him to the bone. He tried to pull away but Hiro yanked him back threw him in the ground with an inane amount of strength.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!” Tears were blurring his vision but he could see Hiro shaking visibly in front of him. He stared at Tadashi with wide yellow eyes, the pupil nearly non existent it was so small.

“ _You’re not sorry.._.” he cooed, flashing menacingly sharp teeth. He sat down rather harshly on top of Tadashi’s torso, pinning his arms beneath his legs. “ _You’re just like **them**._ ” He heard his mother giggle behind him and his father snicker to his left. He struggled to get Hiro off of him, but he seemed to have lost control of his muscles, and he couldn’t move.

“No!!” He screamed the top off his lungs. “I’m nothing like them!!” He shook his head furiously, because he was nothing like those people, nothing like them at all.

“ _You’re a terrible person Tadashi…_ ” Hiro reached down and squeezed Tadashi’s neck, cutting off his air supply. “ _And you’re gonna burn for it._ ” He squeezed harder, Tadashi could feel himself growing dizzy. His vision was blurry and he couldn’t see right.

“S-Stop it, p-please!” He managed to choke out. _I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe!_ He wanted to scream loudly for help, but he couldn’t. The evil Hiro before him sneered, and bashed his head against the hardwood floor.

_Hardwood floor._

Tadashi opened his eyes. The ceiling of his bedroom stared straight back at him. He was on the floor, wrapped up in his sheets. He’d fallen out of bed was all. A quick look at the clock told him it was about three am, two hours before he was supposed to wake up for school.

_It was just a dream… None of it was real…_

But it was all real enough for him. He _was_ a terrible person, and he _did_ deserve to burn for it. He carefully gathered up his sheets and crawled back into bed, hot tears streaming down his cheeks.

_I’m such a bad person, it’s probably a good thing I’ll never see Hiro again._

His mind was convinced, but his heart very well was not. He cried softly to himself and fell into a restless, dreamless sleep.

 

\---

 

“Tadashi, would you like to tell me what's wrong?” Honey Lemon’s gentle voice floated across the desks and into his ears. He lifted his head from his arms and shook his head.

“I fucked up! I fucked up so bad, and I’m such a horrible person!” Tears threatened to spill again, but he willed them away as best he could. He dropped his head rather unceremoniously back into his arms and groaned.

She patted his head gently and brushed her fingers through his hair soothingly in an effort to calm him down.

“I see… Well if you don’t want to tell me, that’s okay, I’ll just be here for you.” Tadashi bit his lip and looked to the side. If he didn’t have a friend like Honey Lemon, he didn’t know where he’d be. She was the only one to not make him feel like a pile of shit after a bad night. The others? Well, they tried but barely missed the mark. Honey Lemon knew exactly what to say and do to make him feel a little bit better. She was truly a special kind of person. Attentive, nurturing, and loving.

“Do you want to come to my house after school and talk about it? I can make you some tea and we can talk about it on the porch… I can even have me madre call your mama and tell her we’re studying.” Tadashi looked up at her with big eyes. “Would you like that? Si?” Tadashi nodded and smiled wanly.

They were startled by the door clicking open. Fred leaned in casually, completely unaware of tender atmosphere. “Hey, get your butts in here, I got everybody pizza.” He pulled out before either of them could say a word. Honey lemon frowned at the door for a moment before sighing.

“Okay, carnal, you come outside when you are ready, okay? Some pizza would probably cheer you up.” She came around the table and hugged him gently before exiting the room.

She was probably right, eating something would be good for him right now… Especially pizza. But, he just didn’t have the appetite for it. He didn’t really have the energy for anything right now, really. He just wanted to crawl up and sleep until the end of September.

He stood and sighed, brushing his hair forward a little and trying to look a little more presentable. Quietly, he opened the door and turned to shut it softly.

He turned around and caught an eyeful of black messy hair. Blue jacket, skinny jeans, worn out trainers, and thin, delicate limbs. He couldn’t believe it, it couldn’t be.

“Hiro…?” He turned around and there he was. He looked quite shocked to see Tadashi standing there. Tadashi didn’t even hesitate he ran and hugged Hiro for all he was worth, he was vaguely aware he was crying. “Hiro… Hiro, I’m so sorry."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> carnal is like spanish slang for friend, it's very common in mexico
> 
> yes, hiro's eyes did change color mid dream, things change mid dream all the time and typically we don't notice.
> 
> it's very difficult writing parents that are manipulative, because they change subjects quickly and often avoid the actual issue at hand. 
> 
>  
> 
> do u feel bad for hating tadashi now bc i told u he had valid reasons


	6. Just A Passing Moment Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how are hiro and tadashi going to act around each other now?
> 
> wHO KNOWS?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh this chapter was kind of a lull for me
> 
> thank you for being patient though, i've been on vacation for like, 10 days

His first reaction was to shove the boy on top of him off. Push him away.

_He’s fucking with your head._

But he didn’t. He just let himself be held. All was quiet except for the sounds of Tadashi’s sobs, eventually subsiding into shallow whimpers and heavy breathing. Honey Lemon quietly suggested they go in the computer lab if they needed some privacy, to which both of the brothers agreed to.

Tadashi opened the lab door and smiled weakly at Hiro, who only looked down. He could feel the rest of the gang’s stares on his back, he felt like crawling into a hole and shriveling up in the dark.

They walked to the far corner of the room where Hiro slid down the wall and tucked his knees up in front of him. He still didn’t look up at Tadashi. The other twin plopped down in front of Hiro, and grabbed on to his ankles, sitting in a tight criss-cross position that bordered insecurity and shyness.

And, then, it was silent.

Neither dared to speak, the lack of noise was almost deafening. Finally, Tadashi took a deep sigh.

“I’m so sorry, Hiro.” New tears formed in his eyes and he wiped them away on his cardigan sleeve.

“You keep saying that, but I don’t know what you’re sorry for.” _Don’t trust him, you’re only gonna end up hurt._ He studied the tips of his mint green shoes intensely, the tip was worn, but still clean for the most part.

“I’m sorry for what I said yesterday. The way I treated you was completely unacceptable. Can you forgive me, Hiro?” He smiled sadly at Hiro, a deep want shined in his eyes. Hiro ignored the question entirely, instead choosing to study Tadashi’s face.

“Why did you say those things to me?” Hiro’s face remained emotionless, he simply continued to inspect Tadashi with cold brown eyes. Tadashi shifted a bit, casting his glance elsewhere. He hesitated before speaking.

“I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” Tadashi continued to look at the carpet. Uncertainty plastered itself on his face, he looked like he was going to break down again.

“It’s… Kind of a long story….” He finally said.

“I have time.” Hiro’s voice was monotone, he didn’t recognize it. It almost scared him how cold he was being, but then again, it was necessary.

“Okay… I guess… Um…” He looked around for a second before beginning his half of the story, the massive jigsaw piece that was missing from Hiro’s life. Hiro offered his full attention, watching Tadashi talk the entire time.

“The truth is, I do remember you. It’s been a very long time, and when you showed up at my doorstep yesterday, it took me a moment but I remembered. It wasn’t exactly that I saw your face and thought, “Oh this is my brother from eleven years ago”, it was this warm feeling, like you know someone but you can’t remember who they are or where you’ve met them, but you definitely know them. I was afraid because… And this is gonna sound stupid, but… I thought you were dead. For the longest time, all I’ve known about my real family is that they’re all gone. I guess my parents, my adoptive ones, they just told me you were dead and you weren’t coming back. And after a while I just kind accepted it, and just forgot about it. I wasn’t prepared for you to show up like that, and it shook me up. Right after you left, I went back inside and into my room and just unraveled. I was restless last night, and when I finally did drift off to sleep, I had this dream where you absolutely hated me because I abandoned you. I’m really, really sorry.” Tadashi’s voice cracked, his eyes welling up with fresh tears. “I thought I was never going to see you again and I was so scared…” He rubbed his eyes and breathed in unevenly. Tadashi searched Hiro’s face for any sign of forgiveness or understanding. They were warm, like he was memorizing everything about his brother. Hiro sighed and looked away.

“It was a natural reaction, I don’t know why but I was expecting something else, I guess it was kind of unfair of me to think you’d be excited to see me.” Hiro looked at the ground and began picking at his nail. “I just wanted to see if you were real… And, I guess I just got carried away…” Hiro slowly uncurled from his position, and leaned forward on his knees and hugged Tadashi gently. Tadashi hugged him back and held him fast, Hiro could feel his heartbeat against his chest, a rapid paced _thud, thud, thud._

“What do we do now?” Hiro whispered against his shoulder. They just held each other there, not wanting leave the embrace.

“I don’t know…” Tadashi was the first to pull away. “Be friends, I guess…? I don’t know, what is one supposed to do after eleven years of not seeing their sibling?”

“Well…” Hiro pondered a moment “Maybe, we should go back in there with everybody else, they’re probably wondering whats up. Do you wanna, like, meet up somewhere after school so we can talk?” Tadashi bit his lip and looked at the floor searching. _I knew it. He doesn’t want to be around me after all._

“I already promised Honey Lemon I’d go study at her house later today. How about tomorrow maybe?” He was fixing Hiro’s hair now, guiding the the wild strands here and there. He looked so lovingly at Hiro, like he was a precious gem, meant to be guarded and loved every day.

“Uh… Okay. How about you meet me in front of the Lucky Cat Cafe tomorrow at four. It’s on the corner of Masonic Avenue and Haight Street.” Hiro stretched backwards to relieve his stiffened muscles.

“Okay! I know exactly where that is, I used to go there all the time! It’ll be awesome!”

“Yeah…” Hiro smiled weakly. “Awesome…” He let himself be led out of the computer lab by a rather excited Tadashi, who was bubbling about about how much Hiro would love the gang, and how well he was going to fit in.

“Do you mind if I tell them or do you want to tell them?” Tadashi was looking at Hiro questioningly. When they’d walked out everyone had stopped talking and looked expectantly at the two, curious about their previous melodramatic antics.

“You can tell them if you want.” He shrugged casually and dug his hands into his pockets. He wasn’t real good at explaining things to large groups of people. Especially  _feely_ things.

“Okay… Everybody, this is Hiro Hamada. He’s my twin brother. We were separated at the age of four, and yesterday he found me. I was kind of shaken up a bit and I said some things that were kind of mean, and then immediately regretted them later. That’s why I was upset this morning. I’m sorry I made everyone deal with my mood earlier, that was rude of me. I hope you can forgive me.”

“Dude, it’s all cool, bro, we understand.” Fred piped up first, offering an easy going smile. Wasabi shot him a look of annoyance.

“You can’t just say, “It’s all cool, bro”, he just found his brother for god’s sake.”

“Yeah, man, and it’s really cool. Kind reminds me of one my favorite comic books I read, except it was a younger brother and an older brother, and the older brother could turn into a kaiju monster. It was pretty sick.” Fred prattled away about his comic books, while Wasabi sat there shaking his head. Gogo simple nodded in approval, but Honey Lemon actually got up and hugged the two of them.

“I’m so happy for you guys.” As sweet as her demeanor was, Hiro found himself... not liking her. He stared at her coldly while she asked Tadashi if he was “still on for their studying session later”. He quickly reminded himself that he was the new person here, and he was outside the loop. Not quite part of the friends group yet. _You don’t have the right to be jealous._

“Tadashi, bro, I saved you some pizza!” Hiro watched his brother practically zoom over to Fred, showering him with loads praises and thank you’s. Honey Lemon was explaining some chemistry to Gogo, who appeared to listening with a rather indifferent look on her face, and Wasabi was chatting animatedly with Fred and Tadashi.

It felt so foreign, standing there in front of them. Unfamiliar. _I don’t belong here…_ He watched the group in front of him sadly, eventually taking a seat near Tadashi and Wasabi, not speaking, just listening.

 _I can’t mess this up, this is the only chance I have…_ He settled for observing his newfound friends instead of interacting. Of course, they did try to include him in conversations and such, but he eventually weaseled out of all of them. He did come to know some interesting things, though.

Wasabi and Fred were advanced in English, Wasabi also being advanced in mathematics. Honey Lemon and Gogo were both set to graduate the following year. Tadashi was set to graduate the same year as Hiro himself. The common interest between them all was a love of science and robotics, all except for Fred, who was a major science fiction enthusiast.

All too soon, the bell rang, pulling Fred and Honey Lemon away from the group. Tadashi explained that they didn’t have robotics like the rest of group did, but they were still really good friends. Hiro watched as an array of students came in, taking out various projects and grabbing various tools and setting to work at various stations. The room soon became filled with the sounds of clinking metal, hissing solder, and the constant whir of one of the 3D printers. There was light chatter amongst the students, no one was particularly loud or noisy, it made for a perfect background noise.

Eventually what Hiro assumed to be the teacher came in, picked up a clipboard, walking around and talking to the students, occasionally scribbling something down on the clipboard. He appeared to be friendly, smiling and nodding as students pointed and showed off various parts of their project.

“That’s the teacher right there,” Tadashi said, pointing to him. “He’s got a master’s in robotics technology. A lot of kids say he used to work for Krei Tech, but quit for some reason.” He had taken out a small stack of sketches and paper, with various skeletal and exterior structures sketched across them. There were notes scribbled haphazardly across the page, many of them scrawled quickly and messily. Hiro looked down at Megabot in his lap, he felt rather self-conscious that he was the only one there not building something useful. Slowly, he slid the small battle bot back into his bag. He could start something new from scratch, it couldn't be that hard.

By the time teacher got around to him, he'd worked himself into a nervous funk. Why he was nervous, he didn't know. He watched the teacher examine Tadashi's work, adding a few comments before moving onto Hiro.

"And you must be the new student, Hiro Hamada, it's nice to meet you." The teacher held out his hand and shook it firmly. "I'm Robert Callaghan, but you can call me Professor Callaghan, that's what everyone else in here calls me, even though I'm just a teacher." He gave Tadashi a look that could only really be described as 'this is your fault, but I'm not actually mad at you'. Tadashi only smiled sheepishly in return.

"How come they call you “Professor” instead of “Mister”?" Hiro looked at the teacher rather confusedly.

"Oh, Tadashi said one time that I should lecture at SFIT, and that “Professor Callaghan” had a better ring to it than “Mr. Callaghan”, and soon the whole class just started calling me that. Speaking of Tadashi, are you two related by chance?" He looked back and forth between the twins, studying them intently.

"Yeah... It's kind of a weird story, we just met yesterday for the first time in like, ten years." Tadashi rubbed the back of his neck, a habit Hiro noticed was quite common with Tadashi. _Insecurity issues,_ he thought.

"Wow, that's incredible! I'm impressed. I'd love to hear the story on how you two found each other, but unfortunately, I'm short on time." He glanced at the watch on his wrist, studying it for a moment. "Okay, well, welcome to robotics, Hiro. I believe I have you for two more periods after this as an Independent Study, which basically means you just stay here after the bell rings. I do have a seating chart, but it's based off of where you've chosen to sit. Are you happy where you're sitting?"

Hiro nodded quickly with wide eyes, anxious to start building something.

"Excellent, I'll add you to the chart then... Okay, so here's what happens in this class, it's a little different from most robotics classes. The students in here have already been through the first two courses, as well as two programming classes, so they know how to use just about everything in here. It's a lot like an Independent Study class, except the entire class is working on personal projects. As long as you're working every day on something robotics related, you get a 100 for the daily grade. At the end of every nine weeks, I like to see a final project or summary of what you've been working on. They can be small projects or large scale projects. Just as long as you're making progress, you should be fine. Now, I would like to see a couple of sketches for things you might have in mind with a little bit of technical explanation by Friday, this way I know you're actually ready for the class. Hmmm, Tadashi, can I trust you to help him if he needs any help?" Tadashi looked up surprised, he'd been quite absorbed in his sketching.

"Of course, I'd be happy to." He smiled at Hiro and then looked back up at Callaghan.

"Excellent, I will leave him in your hands then. Nice to meet you, Hiro. Good luck with your projects." He nodded and walked around to gather info on the remaining students, leaving Hiro and Tadashi staring awkwardly at each other.

"So..." Hiro craned his neck to get a better look at what Tadashi was sketching. "What are you working on?"

Tadashi covered his papers with his arms. "Its top secret, but I'll show you first when I have the final blueprints laid out. Deal?" He winked at Hiro, causing him to blush.

"Deal..." Was Hiro's quiet reply. he glanced around the class once more before taking out a notebook and starting some designs of his own. He had until Friday to show Callaghan and everybody else just how ready for the class he really was.

 

\---

 

"You okay sweetie?" Aunt Cass glanced at Hiro from the corner of her eye. "You've been awfully quiet this afternoon." Hiro merely shrugged in response.

"Just tired, I guess..." _Tired of being idealess._ For god's sake, he was supposed to be a genius. Geniuses weren't supposed to get creativity block for little teeny robotics assignments. So far he'd come up with no ideas to show Callaghan by the end of the week. Every single idea lead to a dead end, and a very, very frustrated Hiro.

_That's what I get for trying to show off._

He just sighed and stared at the window until they reached the cafe. Hiro toted several bags of clothes Aunt Cass had bought for him (he saw her take out and use her own debit card, he wasn't stupid.) and deposited them on the floor of his room, not bothering to put them away. Unceremoniously, he flopped on the bed and groaned loudly. _Useless. Empty. Brain._ Nothing, he couldn’t think of anything useful.

“Hiro, can you come do me a favor real quick?” Aunt Cass’s voice rang up the stairs, pulling Hiro from his idealess despair. He trudged down the stairs and into the kitchen where he found Aunt Cass struggling to keep Mochi from going out the open window above the sink without actually touching the cat with her hands. “Can you get Mochi off the window sill and shut the window? My hands are covered in ground beef juice.” She smiled apologetically, trying to fend off the voluminous feline struggling to get outside. Hiro mumbled, a “Sure”, and pulled the extremely heavy cat off of Cass and the windowsill.

“What’s he after out there anyway…?” Hiro asked, shutting the window and fastening the bolt. It was at least a two story drop and Hiro was pretty sure that the flower box of Japanese Irises wouldn’t be able to support a cat as fat as Mochi.

“Oh, there’s a hummingbird feeder out there, and you know cats… They’ll take any chance that they get at hunting down a bird. Silly old cat.” She turned around and went back to making meatballs, humming a soft tune to herself as Mochi wandered in and out of her legs.

Hiro turned back to the to the window, leaning against the sink, his eyes fixated on the red and clear feeder. It hung a good few feet away, too for even Mochi to reach. He watched for a while as dark green birds with metallic pink heads darted around the small feeder, guzzling down the sugar water. They were called _Anna’s Hummingbird_ , if he remembered correctly. Common in North America.

Whilst he was mesmerized by the small fairy-like creatures, a brilliant idea came to him. “Aunt Cass! You’re a genius!!” He ran and hugged her quickly before running to the door and tugging on his trainers.

“I am...? What do you mean, Hiro? I’m just making meatballs for dinner.” She laughed gently, her eyes sparkling as the young boy ran to and fro, grabbing various items.

“I just need some stuff for robotics, I’ll be back in like fifteen minutes, tops!” He said rushing out the door and to the store down the street.

One small toy helicopter, several sheets of ultra thin plastic varying in color, and a small case of multiple colored wiring and he was off to his room again. He dumped his backpack out, watching the contents scatter across the floor. He worked long into the early hours of the morning. Except for hurriedly eating dinner with Cass, he didn’t leave his workstation until he was absolutely sure he was finished.

He held his finished masterpiece up to the window, allowing the moonlight to filter through and illuminate the delicate plastic sheets. Hiro smiled, pleased with his new creation. He smirked as he set up the controlls to his tiny bot, fingers tapping along the keyboard at a rapid pace. The code was simple remote control code, not unlike Megabot’s. _Childs play._

After a few test runs, Hiro finally laid himself to sleep. He fell asleep smiling at the prospect of the next day, excited thoughts racing through his mind.

_This will blow him away… He’ll love it, I’m sure._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you see the gay yet cAN YOU SEE IT


	7. When The World Made Sense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> from tadashi's pov

The teacup clanked slightly as Honey Lemon set it down, smiling briefly at Tadashi before taking her seat across from him. Her small apartment smelled of cinnamon and spice, it was warm and welcoming. He felt comfortable here, he knew he was safe with one of his best friends.

“So, your brother… He’s  alive.” She took a sip of her tea, and looked up at Tadashi, patiently waiting.

“Yeah… He showed up at my door yesterday… Like, out of the blue. He was just there.” Tadashi looked down into his tea, mesmerized by the swirls of cream throughout the liquid.

“What did you do? What did you say to him?”

“I… I pushed him away. I told him I didn’t know who he was and that I didn’t have a brother. I was afraid of what my parents might do to him.” He ran his fingers through his hair, thinking about what awaited him at home. He supposed it was better to push Hiro away than to watch him get hurt.

“I see… And then what happened?”

“I fell apart… in front of my mom. I told her she didn’t love me. She got mad at me, grabbed me by my ear and made me sit downstairs until my dad got home. When my dad came in he went and talked to my mom, and then they came in and sat across from me.” He felt a hand on his shoulder and realized Honey Lemon was now sitting next to him, urging him to go on. “He, uh… He said it wasn’t my place to upset like that… And I tried to argue back again… And he uh, he… He hit me.” Tears were pricking at the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill over.

“Tadashi… It’s okay to cry… It’s okay to be upset. Just let it out, it’ll be okay.” Honey was rubbing his back soothingly. Slowly, Tadashi let go, uneven sobs shaking his thin frame.

“I’m sorry… I just… Don’t I have a right to be upset? Don’t I have a right to be angry? Don’t I have the right to be who I want to be? Because I feel like I don’t.” His thoughts were sent scattering, it happened every time. Like sand, every reason he had to be angry slip straight through his fingers. He just felt angry and empty. “I hate this…” He shook his head and rubbed his face with his hands.

“Tadashi, I want you to listen to me,” Honey Lemon spoke firmly, commanding his attention. “You have every right to be upset. You were lied too. You have been manipulated. You’ve been hurt. You deserve to feel angry, and you don’t have to justify it.” Tadashi only shook his head in response.

“They love me… They just want me to be successful… I’m just being… Stubborn.”

“Tadashi.” Honey Lemon’s voice was firm, she grabbed Tadashi’s jaw and turned it so he was facing him. “You’re worthy of so much more. So much more than the life you’re living. Your emotions are valid. You’ve been thrusted in a difficult position, but I know you can solve your way out of it.” She pulled him into a hug, holding him tight. When she finally released him, she took out a small lace handkerchief and wiped the tears from his eyes. “You are so loved, and so amazing, don’t ever let anyone tell you differently.” She smiled gently, her eyes sparkling like peridot in the afternoon sun.

“Thank you…” Tadashi’s voice was barely above a whisper, shaky and quiet.

“Do you want to keep talking or would you like to do something else?” She brushed some of the stray strands of Tadashi’s hair out of his face.

“Do something else…” He stirred his tea lazily, not putting any actual effort into stirring it.

“Okay… Let’s see…” She looked around the room for a moment before her eyes settled on the many stacks of colored tissue paper in the corner. “You know what’s coming in two weeks?”

“No, what?”

“Dia de los Muertos, silly. We still have loads of flowers to make.” Tadashi blinked. He’d completely forgotten about the special holiday, a celebration for the spirits of the remembered.

San Fransokyo, before it was completely rebuilt by Japanese immigrants in 1905 after a massive earthquake, was originally largely inhabited by hispanic people whose heritage could be traced all the way back to Mexico. They’d brought with them their rich culture, and continued to celebrate the special day to the present. After the Japanese rebuilt the city, they reached out to the many of the people in San Fransokyo who were left without a home. The result was a rich blend of cultures and traditions, many of which were still celebrated to that day.

After Tadashi met Honey Lemon, she’d invited him to celebrate with her and her mother. Naturally, Tadashi being very open minded, accepted. She helped him set up a small shrine in his backyard, and decorated it with colorful paper flowers, candles, marigolds, Pan de Muertos, and various other objects. There were decorations and small objects from Tadashi’s own culture, like paper cranes and cherry blossoms. A small caricature of the Virgin Mary was always present, as Tadashi’s mother had been an avid Catholic. Ever since he’d celebrated, feeling closer to his deceased family every time.

Honey Lemon set up a small work station with the tissue paper in between them, and a basket to place the finished flowers in. They worked diligently, twisting the silky papers in between their nimble fingers. They worked quietly for a while, until Honey Lemon spoke up.

“Are you going to invite Hiro to celebrate this year?” She was twisting yellow and orange paper to form a bright marigold.

Hiro… Tadashi hadn’t even thought about Hiro since Honey had brought up the Day of the Dead. Now that he thought about it, celebration wouldn’t be complete if Hiro wasn’t with him. “Yeah, I don’t think it’d be right to celebrate without him…” He was concentrating on making the stem of his flower stay put.

“Ask him tomorrow, sooner is better then later, yeah?” She dropped her finished flower in the basket and immediately started a new one with orange and red paper.

“Yeah… I guess.” He smiled to himself, thinking about Hiro. He was just amazing, he didn’t know why, but he could just tell. He was the most beautiful person He’d ever seen in his life, his big eyes shined like zircon in the light, and his hair was like some sort of untamed glory, proud and silky. One thing was for sure, Hiro was a puzzle. There was so much to learn about him, so much to learn. He wanted to know all of it. He would spend every second of every day with Hiro if he could.

“You like him?”

“Hmm?” Tadashi looked up from his seventh flower.

“Do you like Hiro? Is he the kind of person you’d want to be your brother?” She adjusted her pink frames on her face before continuing with her flower.

“Yeah… I think so. I think he’s an amazing person already. I haven’t even known him for 48 hours.”

“That’s good,” Honey smiled. “I hate to see you unhappy.”

 

\---

 

Tadashi opened the door to his house as quietly as he could to avoid alerting his mother to his presence. Worst case scenario; she was still upset from the previous evening and had a list of things that needed to be done. Chores more often than not.

He shut the door carefully and tiptoed to the stairs, and was nearly up the first two steps when his mother called for him.

“Tadashi, is that you? Come here, young man.” Her voice sounded clipped and almost monotone. _Yep, still mad_. He begrudgingly dragged his heavy backpack back over his shoulder and padded quietly into the kitchen where he found her, stirring a cup of tea slowly.

“Yes, mother?” Tadashi dove his hand into his pocket so she couldn’t see them shaking.

“Do you have something to say?” She stared, unwavered at the small teen before her, analyzing like a machine.

Tadashi bowed to her at a 45° angle, keeping his head down. “I am sorry for the way I treated you yesterday evening, it was inappropriate and childish. I hope you can forgive me for my outburst.”

“What did I tell you about the bowing thing Tadashi, we live in America, not Japan. You’re an American, not a Japanese, and we don't grovel. Now, stand up straight.” Tadashi did as he was told, squelching the feeling of annoyance that bubbled up inside him. It was a habit from his early childhood that he was rather unwilling to let go of. “I accept your apology, and I hope you never do that again. Now, supposedly that boy at the door was your cousin, correct?” She delicately took a sip of her tea, which looked to watered down to actually be good tea.

“He said he was my brother.” He studied her face carefully to try and figure out where she was going with it.

“I want you to stay away from him, I don’t like him. He’s probably trying to lure you out so a gang can kidnap and rape you, I read an article about that the other day. Am I understood?” She raised her eyebrows, and the frown lines on her forehead became visible underneath a layer of foundation.

“I don’t think he was try-”

“I said, am I understood?” She narrowed her eyes at Tadashi, silently daring him to disagree and face the consequences. Tadashi sighed in defeat and looked at the floor tiles.

“Yes…”

“Yes what, Tadashi? Look up and not at the floor when you’re speaking.”

“Yes ma’am.” He tried his best to hide his face behind a facade of blankness, trying not to let his inner emotions show through.

“Good. Did you enjoy your time with Honey Lemon today?”

“Yes, we studied AP Gov and APUSH together, it was rather interesting.” Tadashi often surprised himself at how well the lie slipped from his lips. _Not interesting in the least bit._

“Good, good. I like Honey Lemon, she’s a sweet girl. She’d be a nice date for for the winter ball… Unless you had some other girl in mind.” Tadashi cringed at the word “ball”, large formal mixers were his biggest social nightmares. Homecoming had been awkward disaster in his opinion, and he was not anxious to do it again. Besides, he didn’t find that dating was really his thing. He felt like he was being chained down mentally and physically to someone he’d rather just be friends with. They eventually became frustrated with him, after his "lack of initiative", or, his unwillingness to engage them sexually. He considered himself rather asexual actually, but perhaps he hadn’t found the right person yet, like everyone always told him.

“I don’t know, maybe. It’s still like one month away so it’s not like I need to rush. I have some homework yet to do, I’m gonna go finish it.” He picked up his backpack and slung it over his shoulder, padding lightly out of the room.

“Suit yourself, then.” She went back to stirring her tea and reading the book in front of her, paying no more attention to her son.

Tadashi hastily made his way upstairs, sighing in relief when he shut the door behind him. He didn’t really have homework, and he _really_ didn’t want to study. He grinned impishly when he realized he’d brought his robotics stuff home. Granted, he didn’t get to work on at home very often, he immediately set to work.

He had really wanted to show Hiro his work before, but truth be told, he was ashamed of it. He was nowhere near where he wanted to be with his project, and he was falling further and further behind. While it hadn’t affected his grades at all, he knew Callaghan was expecting more out of him. He scribbled here and there, throwing ideas around on light graph paper. His creativity flow seemed to be staunched somewhat, he could think of anything to do, and he didn’t have the paper to start drawing up schematics. Just as well, he heard the front door open, and his father call out a hello to his mother.

Sadly, he put away his drawings away and slowly made his way down for dinner.

 

\---

 

“We should listen to music it’s too fricken’ quiet in here!” Fred slumped into a seat unceremoniously and drummed his fingers on the table. “Seriously, man, I’m getting paranoid.”

Tadashi dug his iPod from his pocket and offered it up meekly. “You can use my iPod if you want. Maybe Callaghan will let you use the speakers in the corner.” Fred looked at Tadashi for a minute before shrugging casually.

“Yo, Professor, can we use your speakers?!” Fred made everyone jump with his outburst, and Gogo popped her gum in annoyance. Callaghan didn’t even look up from his computer, he kept on rapidly typing whatever it was he was typing.

“That’s fine, just keep it turned down, please.” Tadashi scooted back from his desk and trotted up to the player.

“What do you guys want to listen to?” He stared thoughtfully back at his peers, waiting for a reply.

“I’m always a slut for Fall Out Boy!” Fred was now trying to balance a pencil on his nose, completely unaware of the estranged look Wasabi was giving him.

“Anyone else have a problem with that?” He looked around, but everyone except Fred seemed to be busy working on something,

“It’s fine, just play something and get Freddie to shut up.” Gogo had her bike suspended and was working on one her modified wheels.

“Okay…” Tadashi set the artist to shuffle and plugged in the device, satisfied when a soft melody began to play. He went back to his seat and was about to sit down when he heard Hiro curse and hiss. “You okay, Hiro?” He walked over the soldering station where Hiro had been quietly working for some time. Hiro spotted him and hid whatever he was working in his jacket and scampered away.

“No, No! It’s not ready! Give me like two more minutes and I’ll show you. I’m fine, I just dropped solder on my nail.” He stared wide eyed at Tadashi until he went back to his desk. _Odd_ , Tadashi thought. His curiosity got the better of him and he tried to peek and see what Hiro was doing, but unfortunately, couldn’t see anything. So instead he just went back to work. Callaghan left the room after a while, announcing he was going to the copy room. The room was then left in silence, except for the steady stream of music through the stereo.

He was humming lyrics to _She’s My Winona_ when Hiro plopped down in front of him with a rather cheeky look on his face and his hands wrapped around something small.

“What is it?” He leaned forward expectantly, excited to see what Hiro had been hiding. Hiro smiled and opened his hands and a tiny green and purple blur flew past him. “What was that?” He turned to look behind him and the blob zipped past him again, and hovered next to Tadashi’s head for a moment.

It was a hummingbird.

A small, mechanical hummingbird, with tiny wings made of several tiny plastic feathers.

Tadashi stared in awe of the tiny artificial creature before him. He reached out a hand gently and the hummingbird dodged it gracefully moving out of the path of Tadashi’s hand.

“You built this…?” He turned to look at Hiro, who was looking satisfied with his invention.

“Yeah, it’s a hummingbird drone. I repurposed a little toy helicopter and made it last night, I can remote control it with my phone. Right now it’s in autopilot. It’ll hover for a few minutes until it decides to move. Or if it senses something in it’s way, it’ll readjust its route.” He pulled out some small schematics and put them on the table, and ran around to catch the hummingbird before it decided to fly out of range. By then, the others had been drawn in by the tiny flying machine. “Here, look, it’s got two tiny hyperspectral cameras for eyes so you can fly it around without having to see it. And here,” he pressed the small back of the hummingbird which opened to display the wing mechanics, power source and a green computer chip. “This is where all the weight is. I made sure it was all super compact and everything - I had to take apart one of my other bots to get some stuff, but it’s all stuff that can be replaced - It’s got a super capacitor coin battery so it doesn’t overheat or run out too fast. You can also hide little notes and stuff in it. What do you think?” He looked up at Tadashi. He could see the world in his eyes, sparkling, a million ideas waiting to be unearthed like diamonds. His heart fluttered violently, almost as fast as the humming birds wings.

“I think… I think it’s incredible.” Hiro blushed and looked away.

“I mean… It’s not that impressive… It’s alright, I guess.” He fidgeted with his fingers, picking at his nails. _He doesn’t think he’s that good…_

“Hiro, what are you talking about? It’s awesome!” Fred’s voice piped up over Tadashi’s shoulder.

“It really is amazing, Hiro. You have a gift for this.” Honey Lemon squeezed his shoulder to which he smiled weakly to. Eventually, everyone filtered back to back to their stations, still impressed with Hiro’s invention. Only he and Tadashi stood now. Hiro was still fidgeting with his fingers, looking at the floor.

“Hiro. Hiro, look at me.” Tadashi took Hiro’s face in his hands and held it close. “It’s brilliant. You are brilliant. Don’t ever forget that.” Hiro’s face burned red, but he smiled anyway, casting his gaze at the floor.

“Thanks… I-I guess. I don’t really… Show people my stuff very often. They usually get jealous, and then, they don’t like me.” He sat down quietly in his chair and and took out a notebook, doodling with a forlorn look on his face. Tadashi’s heart panged for his brother.

“I like you. I like your inventions. I think you’re nice, and really shy, but that’s okay. You don’t have to be afraid of us… Of me.” Hiro looked up from his sketching, but his smile was still sad.

“Thanks, Tadashi.” Was all he said before he went back to his doodling.

“I can’t wait to hang out with you after school. I’m really excited.” Tadashi offered, trying to get Hiro’s mind off whatever was making him sad. He’d told his mother he was going with Wasabi to a cafe to study. Thankfully, she’d been okay with it, and thus, Tadashi freed up three whole hours to spend with Hiro. In truth, he was ecstatic. He couldn’t wait to hear what his twin had been doing while they’d been separated. He wanted to know what Hiro liked and disliked. He wanted to know what made them similar, and made them different. He wondered if Hiro was maybe allergic to peanuts like himself. So much to know and so little time to catch up.

“Yeah, I’m excited too. Can’t wait.” Hiro flashed him a grin and returned to his sketching, Tadashi took that as his queue to leave him be.

As classes went on, his mind raced through thoughts about his brother.

_I do like you, Hiro._

_I just hope you like me too..._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prEPPPAREE 
> 
> FOR MORE ANGSSTTTTT
> 
> hHAHAHHAHA


	8. We All Fall Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the brothers visit their parents grave and tears are shed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had a seven hour ride yesterday so i was able to get this done
> 
> yea srry

“We can’t go in, it’s closed. It says right there on the door.” Tadashi pointed at the white sign suspended in the window, reading “closed” in curly black letters. He was standing a little distance from the door, but Hiro paid him no mind as he pushed the door open and walked in.

“Hiro!” Tadashi looked around nervously, like they were trespassing on private property. Hiro turned around with a rather vague look on his face.

“I live here, doofus.” He held the door for his twin as Tadashi sheepishly walked past.

The cafe was indeed closed for the afternoon, as all the chairs had been placed upside down on the tables and the floors had been swept and mopped. There was a sweet aroma wafting from the kitchen, like cinnamon and sugar.

Hiro disappeared behind the swinging doors, motioning for Tadashi to follow. It was interesting, being in the establishment after hours, especially after not having visited in such a long time. Tadashi didn’t know why, but his mother had entirely stopped coming here for early lunches with her friends when he was about 11. He’d missed it greatly, it was one of his favorite places. Though it seemed rather hollow and cheerless with no one to frequent it.

Tadashi pushed gently through the double doors to find Hiro chatting with a woman kneading a large amount of dough, nearly covered in flour.

“There he is. Tadashi, this is Aunt Cass, she’s my foster parent.” The woman patted her hands off on her apron (though did little to rid her hands of flour) and cheerfully extended her hand towards Tadashi.

“Hello there sweetie, It’s nice to meet you. You can call me Aunt Cass, or just Cass, either is fine. It’s nice to see Hiro making friends so soon, that’s always a wonderful sign.” She smiled pleasantly, the laugh lines and crow’s feet on her face deepening.

Tadashi took her hand shyly and shook it gently. “It’s nice to meet you too, Cass.” He instinctively hovered closer to Hiro, who seemed much more at ease in the current atmosphere.

“So, Tadashi, did you meet Hiro at school? Do you guys have any classes together at all…?” She sprinkled a good helping of flower on the table and continued kneading, the stubborn mixture beneath her giving bit by bit.

“Oh, actually he--”

“Robotics!” Hiro cut him off before Tadashi could explain how they met. “We met in robotics. He’s really smart like me.” He laughed nervously giving Tadashi a particular set of eyes along the lines of “Do not tell her!”.

“That’s awesome! Now Hiro’s got someone on the same technical and mental level as him. You’ve never had a friend like that before, have you?” She wiggled her eyebrows at Hiro, who simply shrugged.

“I guess not. What are you making?” Tadashi did not miss the abrupt change in conversation, and watched Hiro warily from the corner of his eye.

“Pan de Muerto! Day of the Dead is in a couple of weeks, so the demand for this stuff has gone through the roof.” She started tearing the dough into tinier chunks, plopping them down on a large silver baking pan.

“Is that the one with all the sugar skulls and everyone gets dressed up in costumes and goes on a parade? And they like decorate graves with flowers and stuff?” Hiro watched boredly as Cass took small strips of dough on top of the small loafs, making little decorative crosses.

“Have you never celebrated it before?” Tadashi looked at Hiro with curious eyes. How could his brother not celebrate such a special holiday?

“The families I was with at the time just didn’t really celebrate it. I dunno… It didn’t really appeal to me, I guess.” Something pulled at Tadashi’s heart, he didn’t like seeing Hiro so disinterested in something so beautiful. _Ask him tomorrow. Sooner is better than later, yeah?_ Honey’s words swam in his head before finally settling.

“Do you… Do you maybe want to celebrate it with me this year? If that’s alright with Cass of course. An-and only if you want to.” He scratched the back of his neck, looking at the floor. Maybe it was risky asking him if he wanted to do something with him this soon.

“Sure, Hiro’s more than welcome to, if he wants. I’ll even save you some mini loafs. I think It’d be fun. Do you want to, Hiro?” Cass beamed at Hiro before returning to her work. She was sprinkling copious amounts of sugar onto all of the loafs, covering them in a fine dust of tiny crystals.

“Sure, I’ll go with you. It could be fun.” Relief surged through Tadashi’s system. He hadn’t realized he was tensing until he physically relaxed.

“Awesome then, I think you boys are gonna have a blast. Okay… I hate to kick you two out, but there’s a lot of baking I need to do before I start dinner, so I’m gonna ask you two to scoot. Hiro, there’s some chocolate chip cookies on a plate upstairs, they were leftover from the batch from a couple days ago. I sent the rest of the food home with the workers, but you can munch on those with Tadashi if you like.” She put the loaves into the massive industrial oven and went back to make more.

“Okay, thanks, Aunt Cass. We’ll get out of your hair now.” Hiro yanked Tadashi out by his sleeve before he even had a chance to squeak out a “thank you”. He pulled him up the stairs leading to the loft above the bakery. Tadashi nearly ran into him when he stopped suddenly and spun around.

“We can’t tell her we’re related. I’ll probably get in serious trouble for messing with private adoption affairs or something. No one who links back to Social Services can know, okay?” Tadashi frowned. He didn’t think it was that big of a deal. They could’ve just said they met at school or something. Tadashi was beginning to suspect maybe Hiro hadn’t come across his whereabouts in the most legal of ways.

“Why would you get in trouble?” He watched as Hiro tensed, leaning over the kitchen counter.

“I… I saw your paperwork on my social workers desk. I didn’t snoop very far, but I still messed with her stuff. They were private files, I wasn’t supposed to touch them.”

“What makes you think they’re gonna link it back to you? We go to the same school, we could just say we met there.”

“I dunno…” He shrugged. “I just get kind of paranoid thinking about them. They haven’t exactly landed me in the best of homes. Actually, this ones the only one I’ve felt comfortable in.”

“What do you mean…?” Hiro didn’t answer, and his lack of response only made Tadashi even more suspicious. From the beginning, he noticed Hiro had odd mannerisms that people just aren’t born with. They were learned later in life. Programmed like computer. The way he flinched every time Fred put his arm around him. The way he inched away when people got too close. The way he hid and downplayed his work, constantly making himself seem duller than he really was. He learned that at some point.

“I’ll tell you upstairs.” He grabbed the plate of cookies off the counter and motioned for Tadashi to follow. Tadashi did so cautiously, treading carefully around what he now suspected to be a very delicate Hiro.Enough pressure and he would shatter.

He set the plate down without so much as a clack, plopping down in the black office chair.

The room was slightly bare, no personal objects or knick-knacks. A few small posters hung here and there, but not much else. The desk wasn’t much different, inhabited by only a laptop, a notebook and several bits and scraps of what used to be a robot. Tadashi gingerly picked up one of the black metal hemispheres, observing its innards.

“Are these electro-magnetic bearing servos?” He was in awe. He’d read about and even used one in class before, but he’d never actually _built_ one. He looked at Hiro, who was perched at the head of his bed, struggling to open the turret window.

“They were,” He said, his voice slightly labored. “I took ‘em apart to use some of the insides for the hummingbird.” He finally got the window open and padded over to where Tadashi was examining the dismantled bot. He picked up the head, which displayed an comically angry red face. “His name is Megabot. I use him to bot fight.”

Tadashi’s eyes widened in shock; he immediately put down the bot chunk like it had scalded him. “You can’t do that! Bot fighting is illegal! You’re gonna get in trouble!” Hiro merely chuckled dryly and went back to the open window, letting the crisp evening air flow through.

“Betting on bot fighting is illegal, genius. But it’s super lucrative. I can make an upwards of fifteen hundred in one night if I want. Usually, I just settle for about four hundred to eight hundred. I don’t do it anymore though, I promised my social worker I wouldn’t. She threatened to move me to an institution or something.”

He took out a silver pen shaped object and slipped the tip in between his lips, inhaling deeply. A curling trail of vapor unfurled from his nose as he exhaled, dissipating and leaving only the smell of fruit punch and chemical behind. He held out the stick to Tadashi, waving it slightly. “Want a hit?” Tadashi quickly shook his head, leaning away from the the stick like it was a snake or a bug. Hiro just shrugged and took another hit, exhaling out the window.

Tadashi sat on the edge of the bed, as far from the window as he could get without offending Hiro. “You know those are bad for you right? You could end up with cancer or something.” Tadashi cautioned quietly behind him. He fiddled with his thumbs while Hiro continued to vape carelessly.

“Thanks, Sherlock, but I figured that one out on my own.” He smirked before taking one last hit, putting the small device in his bedside drawer. “But I guess if it’s bothering you I can wait till later. Tell me about this day of the dead thing, I’m curious.”

Tadashi straightened up, excited by the approaching topic for which he had much knowledge. “Well, it’s a Mexican holiday, and after the earthquake in 1905, a lot of people continued to celebrate it, especially after their loved ones perished in the rubble and fires. The Japanese immigrants that rebuilt the city began celebrating with them every year, adding some of their own traditions from Obon. Eventually it just became a mix of the two, since they both had very similar customs.”

Hiro giggled from where he was sitting, swiveling around on the swivel chair nonsensically. “I meant what are we doing on that day. Like what do people do for that holiday?”

“I was getting there,” Tadashi said, adjusting some flyaway strands of hair. “Honey Lemon is actually the one who got me into the holiday in the first place, back when we were in grade school. Every year before November 1st we make lots of paper flowers and decorations and stuff. On the 1st, we go and buy Marigolds from the farmers bringing in their haul for this years celebration. And then we go and clean off the graves and decorate them, and we put food and the bread your aunt was making, some of their favorite things like clothing or little items they treasured. And then at night we light several candles on the graves. It supposed to welcome the dead from the Land of the Remembered to the Land of the Living. Whether it actually does happen or not, I don’t know. But I like doing it because I feel closer to mom and dad. I used to decorate a space for you too, but I don’t have to do that now because I now know you’re alive.”

“You know, I’m not one for spiritual stuff…” Tadashi fell under Hiro’s intense gaze. _Maybe I shouldn’t have asked…_ “But it sounds like fun, so I guess I’ll do it with you.”

Tadashi perked back up instantly. “Really?”

“Sure. Besides, I get an excuse to eat skulls made purely out of sugar, no way I’m turning that down.”

Tadashi was hardly able to contain his glee. “Yes! I’m so excited now! I cant wait, you’re gonna love it!”

\---

The next two weeks flew by without so much as a lull. The two brothers grew closer and closer each passing day, the bond between them nearly inseparable. They were together during the morning, every passing period where they were near each other. During lunch and robotics they were almost glued at the hip (quite literally due to Fred’s shenanigans once.), sharing ideas and sketches, making dumb jokes and laughing despite.

Sometimes, after school, both the twins would follow Honey Lemon home, where they made paper flowers, colorful banners with flower type designs, small origami flowers and birds. Hiro grew to like Honey Lemon, and even hugged her one afternoon as they were leaving. He’d mumbled a, “Thanks for everything” before tripping to catch up with Tadashi.

The fateful dawn of the holiday came to pass, and Hiro was so excited he nearly ran out the door, had Cass not dragged him back and gave him a large pastry box with several fresh Pan de Muerto tucked neatly inside.

“This is for you and your friends. Don’t stay out too late tonight, try to be home by elevenish…? Maybe? At least check up with me once in a while so I know you’re okay.” Hiro rolled his eyes, but was secretly very grateful for his extended curfew. Not that she’d set one in the first place. Cass hugged him and shooed him out the door, watching him scramble to catch the nearest trolley.

Hiro was jittery the entire day, even Tadashi had to tell him to settle several times. Though if Tadashi were honest, he was just as excited.

The moment the bell rang at the end school, Hiro sprung out his seat and zoomed to the location Tadashi and he typically met at after school. He waited impatiently with the now nearly empty box, searching for Tadashi’s head among the other students.

“Heyo!!” Tadashi spoke up behind him, causing Hiro to drop his box with a yelp. Tadashi laughed good naturedly until he noticed Hiro scowling down at him. “You okay?”

“You scared me to death, you giant nerd!” Hiro huffed and picked up the box, checking the contents which were left undamaged.

“It’s a good thing it’s the day of the dead then, huh?”

“I’m gonna smack that stupid grin of your face if you don’t stop.” Tadashi just laughed at Hiro, who eventually chuckled himself. The air between them got quiet again, it was awkward. Very thick, Hiro hated it.

“I found mom and dad’s grave.” He’d actually known where it was for a while now, he was just unable to visit himself. He didn’t know if he could handle it, visiting alone.

“Oh…” Tadashi’s face became sullen again. “Well… I guess we should go then, huh? Better start cleaning before it’s too late.” He motion for Hiro to follow, and he did.

There were several stops along the way, the first of which to Honey’s house to pick up some of the flowers and decorations they’d worked so hard making. The second was in the city, where Tadashi bought a large wreath and a couple small bouquets. At last, they finally made their way to their parents final resting place. Neither said a word as Hiro pushed through wrought iron fence, flinching slightly as it screeched in protest. There were a few families already cleaning and decorating, and a few on their way to start. Small children and adults and teens alike took great care in washing decorating the grave markers. A few lone people cleaned not only the stones of their loved ones, but also those that had no one left to remember them. The feeling from the graveyard was bittersweet, sad and content at the same time.

Tadashi followed as Hiro navigated through the fields and sidewalks. He’d always appreciated graveyards. He felt like they reflected the lives of those who were now buried beneath them. Just as the stones varied in shape, size, and color, so did the people they represented. Another representation of the city itself, he thought.

Hiro eventually stopped them in front of a large headstone, the grave itself being flat and covered in concrete. Sitting atop a large square was a stone angel, dressed in yukata, one hand held to her heart and one extended in reverence. Her hair was tied loosely behind her back, her eyes remained closed and her face was a mixture of sadness and relief. Her wings extended from her back in an exaggerated manner, like she was preparing to fly but wasn’t quite ready to leave. Even though the grave stood in all of it’s glory before them relatively untouched, it was covered in weeds and vines, dirt staining her once untainted granite skin. It was a sad sight indeed.

“Do you think this is it…?” Tadashi’s voice was barely a whisper, so as not to disturb the peace of the resting. Hiro turned to look at Tadashi with wide eyes. Could he not read the neat kanji carved into the stone? Tadashi’s face was a mixture of frustration and sadness as he stared the names.

“Tadashi… Do you know how to read kanji?” A small shake of his head was enough to confirm that, a small tear slipping down his face. It was like a stab to the heart. Another reminder of how much had been taken from them. How they had nothing, nothing to call their own but a pile of rubble and ash, an unkempt gravestone, and a fallen angel to watch over it.

Wordlessly, the twins set about working, pulling the weeds and vines from the grave, dusting and sweeping the dust and dirt away. They did the best they could to clean it, and in the end it still looked dirty. Not as bad as when they’d arrived. It was dark by the time they finished decorating, only the candles illuminating them along with thousands of others. It was an eerie, soft glow, only adding to the melancholy of the evening.

The brothers were sitting quietly next to each other, watching the small flames beat the candle wax down into liquid. They didn’t cry, it was just eerily silent. Music from the city behind played in the distance, the sound of drums and cheers dissipated until it was nothing but mist in the cool night sky. The stars would have been visible, had it not been for the harsh city lights drowning them out.

“I hate this…” Hiro said finally. Tadashi turned to look at Hiro, who was pawing away the tears in his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I hate this. This whole stupid thing. With the stupid fire and the stupid social services and the stupid foster parents. I hate, I fucking hate it!” The tears were twin rivers falling down his cheeks, glinting in the candlelight. He trembled slightly, fighting to hold back the tears that were already falling. He stood up and frustratedly walked back and forth, looking for something to distract him. A small oak sat nearby, the trunk no bigger than Hiro’s waist. He cried out and struck at the tree, startling Tadashi out of his trance.

“Hiro!” Tadashi tried to pull Hiro away but he just wiggled out his grasp.

“No! No, fuck this! Fuck everything! I hate this, I hate it! I want to go home, I want mom and dad, I want my fucking brother back! I want to live in a normal house like a normal fucking family and I can’t fucking have it!” He sobbed and hiccupped, still punching the tree until his knuckles were too sore to continue. He turned on Tadashi and shoved him, only enough to send him stumbling back a few feet. “And why aren't you upset? Why aren’t you mad? They took everything from us and you're just fine with it?! Do you even care that they separated us?! Do you even care that you can’t speak our language anymore?! Do you even want me around?! Am I just a waste of space to yo-”

“Hiro!!” Tadashi shook him by his shoulders firmly, snapping him out of his angry frenzy. His eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “All. We have. Is now. We can’t change what happened, and we can’t change the fact that we don’t live together, but we can change what we do from here.” He brushed the tears from Hiro’s cheek, searching his face for understanding. Hiro merely whimpered and leaned into his brother’s shirt.

They slid to the ground in a crumpled heap, Tadashi sniffling softly and Hiro wailing against his chest, letting him pour himself out. Even after they stopped crying, they stayed huddled together in the chilly night air.

“'m sorry I pushed you…” Hiro mumbled into his shirt. Truly, he felt bad for snapping at Tadashi. They were in the same sinking ship, after all.

“‘s’okay. I understand.” Tadashi’s voice sounded raw. He swallowed, looking around. Most of the people in the graveyard had left already, heading home to gather much needed rest. Tadashi’s watch beeped on cue, warning him of his rapidly approaching curfew. “We should go.”

He nudged Hiro, who nodded and hummed sleepily in agreement. He looked down at Hiro’s doe brown eyes, wide and filled with sorrow and pain. Tadashi’s heart panged for Hiro, especially in his debauched state.

He was so close, he could feel Hiro’s warm breath as he exhaled through his nose, he could still see the tears drying on his blotchy red cheeks. He looked incredibly beautiful despite, like a scattered rose petals pulled from a stem.

Something clicked in Tadashi, The way Hiro looked at him was no different than the way Tadashi looked at Hiro. Emotions that niether quite understood because they had never felt that way before. 

Lips met lips, only for a brief moment, a chaste kiss shared between the two brothers.

_So this is what love feels like..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you say STORY ARCH TWO POINT OH
> 
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	9. One Page At a Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well frick, shits going down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the wait
> 
> also
> 
> this chapter has not been edited so there are likely a lot of errors, i will do the editing tonight

It was the realization of what they were doing that killed the moment for the brothers. Tadashi instantly pulled back, looking away so Hiro couldn’t see his face.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. That was wrong of me, I don’t know what came over me, I'm so sorry.” He stood to gather what little things they had to carry back with them. “Here, I’ll walk you home.” Hiro nodded sullenly, padding along after his brother in the dark grave yard and back to the Lucky Cat.

The return walk was deafeningly silent and almost unbearably uncomfortable for the both of them. Tadashi fidgeted with the items in his hand while Hiro stared at the ground. The streets were quiet, leaving them to their own thoughts, with only the occasional car passing by to interrupt them. Tadashi paused for a moment when they reached the cafe.

“Thanks for… you know, walking me home. I’ll see you later.” Hiro mumbled. He turned to enter the cafe, the warm interior beckoning him in.

“Wait! I’m… sorry about earlier. I don’t know what came over me. I really hope it didn’t make things weird between us.” Tadashi looked remorseful, his gaze cast aside.

"Its whatever, we were both kind of loopy earlier." Hiro attempted a sad smile. "Let's just forget it happened." He waved slowly before retreating into the warm interior, leaving Tadashi alone in the cold.

Forget about it, they did. The awkwardness of such an action came to pass and soon they settled back into their regular routine. Sharing projects and giggles, laughing with their friends, it was the same everyday.

November came about, bringing with it crisper air and cool weather. Rain became more common, as was the usual in San Fransokyo. More often than not, Hiro found himself cooped up in Cass’s apartment with little to do.

It wasn’t all bad he found, she showed him how to help in the cafe and let him take orders sometimes. Mostly he just sat behind the counter and watched the customers come and go. There wasn’t any way he could go and see Tadashi, he only saw him at school and rarely was he able to invite him over. For some reason, Tadashi flatly refused the idea that Hiro go to his house. The dork didn’t even have a phone so he couldn’t even text him.

Pent up boredom lead to the reawakening of old habits, and he found himself out bot fighting once more. However this time he wasn’t necessarily doing it for the cash or thrill of bot fighting.

It was a distraction.

When he was idle, his mind ventured into dangerous territories. To the night of he and his brother’s kiss, to the lingering touches and hugs lasting much longer than they should. The press of lips on the crown of his head that he pretended not to feel for his brother's sake. The way he’d turn and catch his twin looking, staring, almost lost in thought, though the magic was broken as soon as he snapped out of his trance.

Hiro knew what it meant, he wasn’t stupid, nor was he innocent of such actions himself. Their feelings were much stronger than that of a familial bond, there was more love and passion and desire. More often than not, Hiro’s dreams were polluted with unbrotherly desires and he woke up sweating and breathing heavily. He stopped trying to sleep after that, working himself tired late into the night so when he did finally sleep, it was deep and dreamless.

 _Let’s just forget about it_. He didn’t really want to forget. He wanted to build off of it, start a new relationship with his brother. But he knew full well that was something he could not have. Something he would never have. He found himself caught in an ultimatum; pursue his only family, or pursue his only love. It was obvious Tadashi didn’t want the latter.

But wasn’t it he who kissed Hiro? Wasn’t it he who stared lovingly during class, held him close and tight when they hugged, told him his ideas, his dreams, and his aspirations? Didn’t Tadashi want it too? It made his brain hurt thinking about, it was better just to distract himself and move on.

At least he tried.

\---

“Please, Tadashi?” Hiro pouted and clung to his brother, rocking him back and forth slightly. They were alone together in the engineering room. “I never get to go to your house, it’s not fair.” Tadashi huffed and close his book with a slight snap and shook Hiro off of him.

“Well we can't, because… Because I have homework to do later. Sorry.” He returned to his book, not sparing his sibling a second glance.

Hiro groaned loudly and flopped on the desk. He whimpered, tears starting to form in his eyes. “If you don’t like having me around, you should just say so.”

Tadashi rolled his eyes long and hard before finally snapping book shut and sliding it towards the other end of the table.  

“Look Hiro, it’s not that I don’t want you around, trust me. I love seeing you everyday and being with you. But it’s more… complicated. I don’t really want to talk about it, but just leave it be for now, please.”

“Are you afraid your parents won’t like me or something?” Hiro tucked into his arms, pulling his hood over his head.

“They’re… not really friendly people. I just don’t want them to do something mean to you.”

“You could… sneak me in. I can be super quiet.” Hiro looked up at Tadashi, who seemed to be having an epiphany.

“My mom… won’t be home this afternoon… she has PTA and some errands to run. She said she’d be back after five. And my dad won’t be home till five either… and they were supposed to go on a date tonight...” Tadashi mulled over Hiro’s idea for a bit. “I don’t know… It’s probably a bad idea. Forget I said anything.”

“Dude. Come on. You can hear them when they come in, right?”

“Yeah… but-”

“I can just hide in your closet if they come to check on you."

Tadashi rung his hands together in his lap and stared at the floor.

"Come on... What's the worst that could happen?" Hiro nudged his siblings shoulder gently, earning a small smile.

"I... I guess. But we have to be super careful, my parents would flip if they found out."

Hiro hugged his brother tightly, humming from sheer delight. "Yessss... Finally, it's been forever since we hung out. And I get to see your room!"

They were both interrupted by the door opening, followed by fred walking in casually with several trays of pizza. Honey Lemon timidly followed waving to both the brothers cheerfully.

"'Sup bros," Fred set the trays down on the table, arranged them haphazardly, and plopped lightly on a stool. "You guys sure are cuddly all of the sudden."

Hiro reluctantly released his hold on Tadashi and slunk back to his own chair. He felt rather cold without Tadashi's presence closer.

"We were just hugging is all." He frowned, pulling one of the trays closer and nibbled the end off the pizza.

"Nah man, I mean like all the time. You guys are like, all over each other 24/7." Hiro stuck out his tongue and faked a gag, Tadashi's eyes simply got very wide and his ears turned the color of a ripe tomato.

"TD, dude, you like you got caught with your hand in the cookie jar." Fred snickered and returned to his pizza. “I’m just kidding bro. It’s nice to see siblings that don’t hate the shit out of each other.”

“It is a pleasant change isn’t it?” Honey Lemon chirped, setting up her organised lunch of a sandwich, tea, veggie slices, and a pair of cookies. “I don’t have any siblings, but if I did, I imagine it would be rather difficult living with them. I’d try my best though.”

“Do you guys ever wish you could live together?” Hiro looked up at Fred, who’d asked the question, and then at Tadashi.

“Well… I’ve never thought about it in depth really… I mean yeah, it’d be awesome. Like, Tadashi, you could come live with me and Aunt Cass above the cafe, and I could share my room, and we could turn the garage into a robotics shop and build all kinds of cool stuff…” Hiro trailed off, and realizing his eyes were wet. “Or not, you know, it’s not likely to happen.”

“I think that would be cool too.” Tadashi said, nudging Hiro gently. He then looked around the room, puzzled for a moment. “Where’s Gogo and Wasabi?”

“They’re out sick, it’s flu season.” Fred propped his feet up on the desk, to which Honey responded by scooting her lunch further away from his shoes. “ _This is about flu awareness, gotta be aware of the flu in the airness_.”

“What the hell is that from?” Hiro gave Fred a weird look, but chuckled nonetheless.

“It’s the Flu Hatin’ Rap, dude! Don’t you watch Rick and Morty?”

Hiro shook his head. “I don’t watch much TV.”

Tadashi popped up from his book. “I’m not allowed to watch any TV.”

“You’re not?!” Hiro looked at Tadashi in astonishment. Everyone else just kind of shrugged like it was already a thing.

“Dude it’s no secret that Tadashi’s parents are like, weirdly overbearing. Like, dude, don’t you have to ask before you can use the computer, and you can only use it for an hour and a half or something?”

Tadashi sighed and put his book down once more, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah, they’re kind of strict. It’s also really heavily filtered, I have less trouble surfing the school computers than our home one. It doesn’t really bother me though.”

“Is… is that why you don’t want me at your house?” Hiro watched as Tadashi’s frame sagged with defeat.

“Yeah… that’s why. They thought you were trying to lure me out so people could kidnap me or something when you first showed up. I’m not supposed to talk to you at all actually, so I’m already breaking a lot of rules, I could get huge trouble.”

“Well, can’t you talk to them and tell them I’m harmless or something?” Tadashi shrugged and turned a page in his book, hardly bothered by the conversation.

“I tried, but in my house, what my parents say is pretty much law.” Hiro watched as Honey lemon patted Tadashi’s hand and smiled sadly at him. He still felt jealous but He tried his best not to show it.

“Do you like, not wanna do the thing later?” Hiro regretted pushing Tadashi about his home earlier.

“No, I already said we could. Besides, I’ll be bored as hell if I’m alone.”

“Okay… I mean, if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.” Tadashi sounded almost aggressive, yet he had a very determined expression.

“It’s like you guys are in love or something.” Fred said, making googly eyes at the brothers. Hiro laughed nervously and Tadashi just shook his head, trying to distract from the fact that his face was again bright red.

Honey lemon nudged Fred’s arm playfully. “Be nice to them, Fred. They’re just closer than normal.”

“Mhm, sure Honey Lemon. Whatever you say.” Fred seemed to drop the matter there, diving into another comic book.

Hiro, though he’d attempt to deny it to his grave, knew that what Fred was merely joking about was more than likely true… at least for Hiro.

\---

“It smells clean in here.” Hiro looked around the inside of Tadashi’s house. It was just as eerily quiet inside as it was outside. The living room looked like it jumped right out of a Martha Stewart magazine.

“Here, take your shoes off and bring them with you, that way if they come in, they don’t see them." Hiro did as he was told and yanked his shoes off without untying the laces. Cautiously, he followed Tadashi up the stairs. The second to last creaked under foot, Hiro noted, as did the left side of of the hardwood floor.

Tadashi led them down the short hall and into a room with eggshell white walls. It was... equally as bare as Hiro's own room, though it had a few more personal effects. The desk was neatly organized, with picture frames of Tadashi and his parents, Tadashi holding various academic awards, and even a few chess match trophies. Several books were stacked on a shelf next to his desk, and the walls displayed only the academic awards from the photographs and a white board with a calendar and various dates scrawled on it. The bed was a if a medium size and had a brown comforter and light beige pillows.

His room was very plain.

"It's not much, I know... but I guess I like it that way." Tadashi shrugged. He set his backpack on the ground and removed several large textbooks, placing them on the desk. He carefully removed his folder labeled _robotics notebook_ and sat on the floor, patting the floor next to him. "Come on, let's do something fun."

Hiro did not hesitate, sitting down and pulling out his messy folder of doodles and notes, even pulling out Megabot and some of his tools to fine tune the once dismantled bot.

The two became completely absorbed in their work that hours flew by without them noticing. Hiro finally got Megabot functioning proprerly again and showed Tadashi some of the basic controls (He could show off its real capabilities later). Hiro was in the middle of showing Tadashi how to move the analog sticks so Megabot didn't fall over while it was walking when he heard a noise.

"What was that?" Tadashi looked up and they both stood stock-still listening. Tadashi's widened in disbelief.

"The door." He hissed. He motioned towards under the bed, to which Hiro immediately rolled under. Tadashi pushed his bag, books, and Megabot under before readjusting the comforter and plopping back down where he was sitting.

He finished not a moment too soon, he heard the heavy sound of his father's footsteps walking towards his door. Though he could barely hear over the sound of heart beating wildly in his chest.

The door opened and Tadashi appeared to be working diligently on his robotics alone on the floor.

"I came to check on you before I went to meet your mother..." He looked around the room until his gaze settled on Tadashi's textbooks. "Did you finish your other homework?" He cast an almost accusatory glance at Tadashi.

"Yep, all finished." Tadashi lied. He tried to be as serene as possible.

"I want to see."

Tadashi froze, before he could do anything, Mr. Ellis picked up a textbook himself and opened it to the page marked by a sheet of paper. The assignment was blatantly blank, nothing was written on it besides the date.

Tadashi watched his father stare for a moment, he felt like his heart sank to his stomach, he could feel the pounding in his lower torso.

"Stand up." His father's voice was now a growl.

"Dad, I-"

"Stand. Up." Tadashi did as he was told, clasping his upper arm and cowering before the man in front of him. He knew what was coming.

The first slap came and stung just as much as the last time, tears immediately pricked at his eyes.

"What were you doing instead?"

Tadashi didn't dare look up. He mumbled a soft "nothing" and tried shrinking away even further. He wasn't prepared for his father's hand to shoot out and grab him by the throat.

"I asked you a question... and you are to answer it." He squeezed slightly, causing Tadashi to make a soft choking sound.

"Ro... Robotics..." Tadashi managed to wheeze out. His dad released his grip, backhanded his other cheek and sent him staggering backwards. Tadashi watched through teary eyes as his father collected his robotics notebook and notes.

"You may have this back tomorrow morning. If you haven't finished a significant amount of your homework by the time I get back, there will be severe consequences."

Tadashi nodded sullenly, whispering "Yes sir" in a hoarse voice. He waited until he was sure he heard the front door close before sliding to the ground and drawing his knees up close to him.

Hiro, meanwhile had heard the entire thing, listening with wide eyes and staying completely still so as not to make a sound. He immediately rolled out from under the bed and dragged his backpack out as well, then went to comfort Tadashi.

Both of his cheeks had a red hand print from where his father had struck him. The angry red outlines on his neck resembled fingerprints, the were surely going to bruise later on. Tadashi himself was breathing heavy and fast, trembling slightly and mumbling something about "deserving it" and being "a bad kid".

"Tadashi...?" Tadashi didn't respond, Hiro sat down in front of him and shook his shoulder gently. "Tadashi, breathe..."

"I can't do this anymore... I can't do it, I just can't..." Tadashi started gripping his hair and shaking his head, Hiro was at a loss for what to do.

Then an idea struck him.

"Tadashi, I need you to look at me, focus on what I'm saying." Tadashi looked up at Hiro, but continued to hyperventilate and tremble. "Here, watch my hand, I want you to breathe in and breathe out in time with my hand okay?"

Hiro held his hand up where Tadashi could see, one by one he opened his fingers slowly, counting to five in his head. He repeated this several times until Tadashi stopped hyperventilating and his breathing regulated. His trembling stopped and he relaxed, just occasionally sniffing and sobbing gently.

"There... It's alright, I'm right here." Hiro wiped some of the tears from Tadashi's cheeks, brushing some of his hair out of his face. Tadashi pushed his way into Hiro's arms and clung to him for dear life. Hiro hugged him back, rocking them back and forth slightly. Tadashi cried softly on his shoulder for a while eventually stilling and just holding on to Hiro.

"I'm sorry..." He finally said. "I'm sorry you had to witness that. I'm sorry for breaking down." He pulled away and slumped against the wall, sighing heavily.

"Do they... do they always treat you like that?" Hiro curled up next to Tadashi and rested his head on his siblings shoulder.

"Since I can remember... Yeah. My dad... he's kind of unpredictable. He's even worse when he gets drunk."

"How much worse...?" Hiro looked at Tadashi, who was pondering for a moment. Slowly, he sat up and undid his cardigan and pulled his shirt over his head. Hiro sucked in air sharply, looking at Tadashi's back.

There was bruising, dark scarring lining his back in crisscrosses, and very old cigarette burns on his lower back. Hiro reached out and touched one of the marks, feeling Tadashi's muscles tense slightly and then relax.

"Tadashi... Why haven't you told anyone about this?" Hiro turned his brother around and helped him put his shirt back on.

"Who's gonna listen to me, Hiro? No one is going to care. I'm just another kid they'd rather not deal with."

Hiro’s out heart pained softly in his chest. He knew exactly what Tadashi was feeling. Flashes of the morning in the locker room played through his head, he shook his head willing them to go away.

“I understand what you mean… I know how that feels.”

Tadashi frowned and furrowed his brow at him. “What do you mean?”

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about. I was just relating in a way so you wouldn’t feel like you’re alone.” He gave his brother a sad smile.

“Well… It’s obviously something. But if you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to.”

Hiro sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Okay… I just. I never told anyone before. It’s as good a time as any I suppose. I uh… I used to get bullied a lot in my old school. It was an everyday kind of thing, and I just learned to deal with it. Well this one day I got kind of tired of it and I… spat at the kid who was like the ringleader of the group. And he… didn’t like that too much. He… forced me… he forced me to suck him off. I didn’t even know what he was doing until he was on me.”

Tadashi’s face twisted into scandalization. “Hiro! Why didn’t you tell anybody?!”

“Its like you said, knucklehead,” He scoffed dryly and shook his head. “Who’s gonna listen to me? I don’t worry about it a lot. I mean, it happened, but there’s no point in letting it run my life.”

Tadashi pulled his brother closer and snuggled into him.

“I’m sorry that happened to you…”

Hiro sighed wistfully. “‘s alright. Like I said, it doesn’t bother me much.” He looked up at Tadashi who was staring at him sadly. “Two peas in a fucked up pod, aren’t we?”

Tadashi scoffed dryly, bringing his fingers up to trace the outline of Hiro’s lips and face. “No kidding…” He continued to lightly brush Hiro’s face with his fingers, lingering each time his fingertips brush Hiro’s soft, pink lips.

“What are you thinking?” Hiro’s voice was barely a whisper, he looked straight into Tadashi’s eyes, unwilling to break contact.

“Bad things…”

“Yeah? What kind of bad things?”

Tadashi paused and rested his forehead against Hiro’s, his nose brushing Hiro’s slightly.

“I think… I think I want to kiss you…”

“What are you waiting for?” Hiro smiled softly, blinking slowly.

“I don’t know…”

Hiro pushed forward until their lips were quite literally brushing. “Then do it.”

Tadashi did as he was told, pressing lightly against Hiro’s. He tried moving next, Hiro tried to reciprocate, it was an overall messy affair. Neither of the inexperienced boys seemed to care, Tadashi pulled Hiro into his lap and continued.

Even as their teeth grazed and tongues tangled, they kept kissing, soft and slow. Because the kiss wasn’t about sex, and they didn’t feel bad or ashamed of their actions.

It was about love and understanding.

 


End file.
